Waffles Big Adventure

When I'm at the pearly gates - will he make me match the videotape?

2008-03-02T14:09:00.000-08:00

Not much time - but some time is better then no time. Quick story:

A professor stand infront of his class with a large pickle jar in from of him. He says "Class this is an empty jar." Class nods. Professor then dumps a load of golf balls in the jar. "Class, this is a full jar". Class nods. Professors dumps in a bunch of pebbles. "Class this is a full jar." Class nods again.. Professor dumps in sand. "Class this is a full jar" Class nods again. Professor dumps in two cups of coffee. "Class, this is a full jar" class nods again. "Do know what this pickle jar means? Let me explain:

The golf balls represent the big things in life: Family, Friends, Love, Compassion
The pebbles represent the semi big things in life: Work, Entertainment, Bills, Exercise
The sand represents the small things in life: gossip, drama, etc

If you mix your priorities up there won't be enough room for everything. For your life to be truely full you much pay attention to the big things in life and let the smaller things sink in around them."

Student says "Whats the coffee represent?"
Professor says "There is always room for a cup of coffee with a friend"

An interesting thought eh?

i'll end with that for now. Perhaps dwell on it later.
I feel exhausted with talking about myself for the time being.

xxoo
glad to be back.

Front Store Manager - Holly, age 23

2007-10-20T13:42:00.000-07:00

Holy Fuck.

So about three weeks ago I was completely stressed out by Garth and CIP and decided to look for for another job. I probably applied for about a half a dozen jobs. One including on a WILD shot a Front Store Manager Position at the Shoppers Dug Mart here in Downtown Victoria.

Apparently my resume and cover letter were impressive (as it should have been... cause I am impressive.. lol) cause I got an email on Friday afternoon asking when I was available for an interview! AHHHHHHH.

So me. A shoppers drug mart front store manager! Friggin Nuts! I made it perfectly clear in my resume and cover letter that I am only 23 but am SO eager to learn and grow and become a good leader! AHHHHHH. I am too excited. Even to be considered for the position is friggin insane. Its a lot of work running a Shoppers Drug Mart but by shit, I am so excited. It would be full time hours, with overtime and benefits, but I wouldn't be able to work at Fairways anymore.. which is rather sad since I really like it.. but still.

HOLY SHIT!

I'll let you know how it goes!
xxoo

Everyones married. or getting there. am i?

2007-10-17T19:01:00.000-07:00

First off I'd like to say I know too many people who have either a) gotten married in the last year or b) just got engaged this year. And I'll admit I'm wearing my jealous worried face. And to be honest.. maybe this is just my ego bursting.. but I always thought I'd be married before them. exhibit a. Miranda and Steve. Whoa. Who even knew she liked boys? I sure as hell didn't. And steve? I always thought he'd end up in the army forever firing guns at anything that moved. Hell. That still might happen.
Exhibit b. Jenna and Bill. What the fuck. I really don't know where to go from there.
And here we are. Me. I have been thinking about the rest of my love life far too much the last few days. Could I spend the rest of my life with marcos? His worst quality? The only bad thing that I can think about him is? He snores. And that my friend can be fixed. Could I marry him? And have his babies? And wake up to him every day? And wash his undies? And listen to him fart? Well we're past the farting stage and sleeping over is a regular affair. Wash his undies? It doesn't seem so terrible. Have his babies? He would be the most amazing father. He is so patient, loving, affectionate, morally sound, he loves kids, I can just see him spending every second with his kids. The res of my life eh? At this particular moment I'd say yes if he asked me. I guess there is just two points that popped into my mind. a) if jason showed up in canada tomorrow and asked me to marry him what would I say? Is marcos just the next best thing? b) we've only been dating for a little over a month. bahaha. Enough of the rest of my life already!

China 2.0: I love working at Quadra Fairways. I've made some awesome friends. Monday's I work in the service desk with Betty and we do nothing but laugh. No joke. She's a 40 something chinese woman all tiny and bucked tooth but by shit she is the funniest woman in the world. She worked with Marcos at #2 ages ago so I was asking her to tell me some gossip about him and this is what she says in her ridiculous chinese accident "He likes dirty pussy!" but she didn't say it loud... just loud enough for me to hear and when I gasped and asker her to repeat herself she was like "He likes young girls". I laughed sooo hard the further til called the desk to tell me not to laugh so loud. lol.
On Tuesday nights I work with Olivia in the service desk. Also.. nothing but laughter. Shes 24 and works full time at Fairways and lives the next street over from the store. But I drive her the half a block home. Last night she was telling me about her Saturday night "So I might've hugged marcos.... for 20 minutes. And then I hit on one of our customers who just happens to be standing at til 5 right now. AND THEN i tried to steal an ice cream bar for 7/11". I laughed soo hard. Ridonkulous!
Thursdays i work with Denise. Shes lovely we don't laugh as much.. but by god I try. lol

CIP - THe company that stole my hair.
Why is it that when you loose your hair comes off your head instead of the unwanted areas that have hair on them? like the backs of my knees where is really hard to shave? Or the stray chin hairs i'm developing? In anycase over the last few weeks my hair has been falling out because of the stress of my job. I'm trying to not let it take over my life, but its subconcious right? Like Am I gonna have a job in 6 months? I dunno. I wish I didn't have to think about it.. but I can't help it. My brain just goes and goes and goes. The only thing keeping me sane and being able to talk to marcos. he is just so understanding and helpful. So.. I just keep going in and doing my job. Yeah know.. I should probably doing more. I know everyone of you are going to say "you can only do what you can do" but really I think I could do more. Make a better effort. I'll try. Next week. lol.

My bottom.
So farch is coming out November 18 - December 1 for when I have my surgery. I sure am glad he's coming. It'll be nice to spend some quality time with him. That and I think it will be so nice to have him meet marcos. I think they both want to meet each other. My surgery is on the Monday and marcos has mondays and tuesdays off so he'll come to the hospital with me and dad I think.. which will be nice. THis sure does sound all very important and official and like we're getting married.

Thats all I can say right now. I'm getting a cramp and I must clean and shower before mr. popular gets here.
xxoo

My schedule vs. Your Schedule

2007-09-17T13:55:00.000-07:00

Well today is monday. Which is the scheme of things means I start at the New Fairways tonight. In general this is not a bad thing. What is a bad thing is that Marcos still thinks its ok to see me after work. Monday also means he starts work today again too. And works til 10pm as well BUT doesn't start until 1. But he still thinks that I will be concious after 10pm tonight EVEN though I started at 7am... and will have start again tomorrow at 7am. I can see this relationship becoming physically draining very fast.

I love spending time with him and I love seeing him and I love talking to him.. but I have done all the above every day since he got back.. and to be honest.. I was hoping this was just a phase. Like after he returned to work we would have date nights and see each other a couple times a week? It doesn't look like it. So he's coming over tonight after work.. and then probably Tuesday after work (cause he doesn't work wednesday mornings... and then probably wednesday after he's done cause he works til 10 and me only til 3:30... it is going to be exhausting. I do need my sleep you know.

Oh well. I suppose we will see how this works?

The best reaction to no.

2007-09-15T14:11:00.000-07:00

I definately had a great night.

Everyone from work went out for a few drinks.. or 8 tequila sunrises.. and some laughs. Turns out most of the people that I work with are either gay or bi. Who knew? Not me. Very strange events thats for sure.

The best part was aftewards tho. Marcos showed up about 11pm at my house and climbed into bed with me and we talked and kissed and cuddled and I really had no reservations about saying anything to him. Like.. after he left on Thursday night i went to bed.. but woke up at like 2 unbelievable turned on. I didn't know what to do with myself. lol. I told him that and he said the same thing happened to him.. cept it happened before he left my apartment. lol. The most important part of the night however, was when I said "I have been thinking about having sex with you all day and I've come up with a decision. I've decided that we should just yet". And he said he agreed and that he's glad that I made the decision and could say it out loud. We then proceeded to snuggle all night. AND SLEEP! I slept! And he slept! The only other boys house I've ever slept at when staying over was jason. ha.

So anyways. He stayed over and we then snuggled all morning on the couch and now I am exhausted and need to do grocery shopping and laundry and am NOT going out tonight. I'm playing golf with mike tomorrow morning and then seeing marcos tomorrow night.

I am turned into that girl. That girl who sees her boyfriend every day. Who knew that was me?

Public Announcement: I'm embarrassed that I judged people in relationships and how they weren't their own people anymore because of their boyfriends. I may in fact be a hypocrite.. except I am still my own person.

Scary Happy - When your so happy you're scared.

2007-09-12T19:10:00.000-07:00

Oh lovelies.

Yesterday was Tuesday. The Tuesday. The marking of a new chapter. Of a new start. Of a new "day". What a funny thing. On a Tuesday.

In anycase. Yesterday was my last day as a Fairways Sidney Cashier. And Marcos came home. He called me literally 20 minutes after he got home. So I said I would call him when I got home cause he wanted to do something after I was done work (can you imagine.. me up past 10pm? on a work night?) So I did. He came over and it was just like we had been together for ever. He kissed me when I opened the door and he just wanted to have a hand on me at all times.. in the kitchen in the hallway on the couch. It was adorable. And he brought me stuff from the phillipines! Some candy and coconut things and rum and a naked man. Yes thats right. I naked man. lol. I shall take picture and post it. Its hilarious. He said he bought me a necklace and then lost it so thats what I got instead. lol. It was just fantastic.

On a bummer note.. he does work at my new fairways. Funny enough... Elenor didn't schedule me for the days he works. lol. Which is better because I definately don't want to be that girl. I made a huge point about it last night that I had no idea he worked there and that he was not the reason I was going there... oh well.. it still looks like that to everyone else I'm sure. crapola.

In any case.. he's on his way over right now.. and we're going to get some eats.. I really like him. Scary happy like him.. and I think he feels the same. Not think. Know. I hope this isn't too good to be true. Please slap me when i start making up reason why I shouldn't date him. THere aren't any.

xxoo

"Just chillllll Winstonnnn"

2007-09-09T15:14:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning and realized I'm pretty good. I mean.. I didn't wake up feeling dressed out... or antsy.... and worried... or impatient. I mean... I'm good. So today was a pretty chill day. Cleaning and sewing mostly. Later I'm going to do some laundry and some reading and some grocery shopping.. but all of that is also pretty chill.

A story.

Last night we went to Melissa's house for a BBQ for Guathio's son who just returned from Afghanastan. I'd never met him.. but I love guathio so I was there for the celebration (and the food cause i love her cooking). I met Marvin. Guathio's son. Here's the thing. He is clearly malasyan.... which is fine.... but he speaks english... but in an awkward non accent way. In anyways.. thats not the point. The point is.. I think he was flirting with me. And I may have flirted with him. And they I felt guilty.

Its just no fail when you've decided not to fuck things up (and by fuck things up i mean every time i decide i like some one some one "better" comes along and i then they aren't really better and then i try and get back with the original guy he isn't interested) there always comes guys that are just ready and willing. No fail. And me being me.. can't resist the attention... but I think i've been fairly good lately.. i mean.. i've consciously thought "no.. he'll last 10 minutes" or "no.. he's cute but" yeah.

anyways. i'm chill now. what will be will be. in my lovely apartment.

xxoo

Turns out I may just be the most unfounded paranoid person in the world.

2007-09-05T08:49:00.001-07:00

After posting yesterday melissa and i spent the afternoon walking around downtown and eating and drinking and talking. It was really funny. She also decided that I may actaully be very paranoid about marcos. I was not convinced. Either way.. I was just trying to lower my expectations of him calling me when he got back so I wasn't so heartbroken.

Well for some reason this morning, as soon as I got up I went to the computer and checked my facebook messeges. One from Marcos. I'm not going to go into details or anything but I'm pretty sure its the greatest note I've ever received. He is definately a keeper. And there is no doubt in my mind that he will be calling me when he gets back.

I haven't smiled his hard for this long in a very long time.

xxoo

How to jab someone in the leg with a spear without actually doing it.

2007-09-04T12:11:00.000-07:00

Oh hi.

There are two different ways to jab someone in the leg with a spear without actually doing it. And I have experience both.. in the same day.

1. Early yesterday morning as I was the doing the first of many Facebook adventures I discovered that my sister, the lovely person she is, decided to add marcos to her facebook. This apon first glance does not seem like such a terrible thing EXCEPT that I told her specifically that I didn't want to jynx this and that I wanted it to work out. But now.. now I just look crazy because my sister has added him to facebook EVEN THOUGH I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know I have a sister. Yeah. Thats how I was stabbed in the leg with a spear without her even knowing it.

2. Last night I went for dinner at the crazies with the other aunt and uncle and apparently the crazies best friends Dale & Gary AND the G-Ma Crazie. I could only stand three of the 8 people in the room and I was one of them. I have never disliked anyone with such ferocity as I hate Dale. This woman is the be all to end all. Just FULL to the brime of self importance. So.. as per my style.. I try and chop a bit at the chip on her shoulder every time I see her. Yesterday I got her square the leg with my spear. She was explaining how I missed an amazing Chinese food meal the other day when I said that after working at Fairways I couldn't possibly eat Chinese food because the place stinks of it. She then stated in a loud matter of fact voice that she's shopped there for many years and never smelt chinese food in there. I then starred her directly in the eye and said "Oh. Have you been in the Staff Room or the Back Room?". She shut right up. Then she tried to redem herself by saying that she always asks Guathio about how to cook her chinese vegetables like they were close friends. So I said "Oh yeah.. Guathio is a magnificent chef.. every time I go over there she makes amazing meals". She didn't speak of fairways or guathio after that. That is how you stab someonein the leg without her knowing you meant to.

Other then that.. only 7 more days til Marcos comes back.. and right at this very moment I'm feeling dreadful about it. This could just be me being paranoid (as per usual) but he had the time to add lindsay as a friend on facebook.. but didn't write me a messege?

Perhaps I just wanted it to work too badly.

Serves me right for getting my hopes up. Guess we'll find out when he calls me.. or doesn't when he gets back.

xxoo

Milestones only I would notice.

2007-09-03T08:07:00.000-07:00

Hi Loves.

I was just thinking last night about somethings that I've accomplised over the last 11 months.. that maybe other people would find quite simple but myself in the past have found difficult.

a) Dating a boy without having had sexual contact with him before hand AND then being the one to break up with him because you weren't that interested in him.

(since when have i ever met a boy i didn't make out with first before trying to date him? and on that note.. I am never the one to break up with anyone.)

b) Learning to live with myself without depression.. backwards thinking... or yearning for things in the past.

(in the past i've always been the one to get depressed when "alone" as i often look back on past relationship and think "for why did I fuck that up?)

c) Can go to the grocery store and actually run into people I know!

(if you know this much about me.. i rather hate talking to people in the grocery store that i sorta kinda know.. but I'm making an effort!)

d) Getting over people who treat me badly.

(for example.. i dumped tia like a back of rocks. i dumped karley like it was going out of fashion. i dumped JJ & Chris real fast. I've learned to get over stacey's impossibley flakey nature. I've just gotten over them)

e) Im starting to learn how to look at situations from different angles. I used to be the first one to get angry but now I try and see all angles of situations (then get angry. lol)

Thats about all for know.

Putting my curtains together today then heading to family supper in sindey to with the crazies and my new fav. aunt and uncle.

xxoo

The magic of dryers.

2007-08-31T13:08:00.000-07:00

Ya ever hear those stories about people who live in apartment buildings and share laundry and theres someone that folds other peoples laundry for them mysteriously?

I am that person. But not for the reasons you may think.

In our building it takes like 3-4 hours to do 3 loads of laundry. Which blows if you live on the third floor. I don't want to come down to the basement to find out I have to wait for some knob to take their clothes of the finished dryer. So... being impatient.. I fold said persons laundry so I can use the machine. Purely selfish. Mind you.. if someone had folded my clothes out of the dryer instead of just chucking them into the nearest basket (as it's happened to me before) I might feel greatful. Not the person I did it for. Instead they opened the dryer looking for their towels and found mine and then shut the door but didn't turn the dryer back on. Make that 4.5 hours doing 3 loads of laundry.

ANYWAYs. While I was on one of my many trips in the elevator to and fro the laundry room and realized something.

This is the first time in 8 years that I didn't receive a birthday messege of any sorts from jason. 8 entire years.

I guess that really means its over.

Anyways... things are way more bestest today then yesterday... although I'm missing marcos. or I should say the idea of marcos since technically we haven't really started dating yet... it's really been quite casual meetings.... but still. it would have been nice if he had been here for my little melt down yesterday in the wee hours of the morning. Mind you.. maybe I'm just thinking that because it could have happened.. as before I would have just said it would have been nice to have "someone" or "anyone" instead of Marcos. hmm.

So.. I'm just very excited for him to come home now. T-minus 11 days.

xxoo

Black and White. The world without colour.

2007-08-29T15:04:00.000-07:00

The road to happiness, as I've so recently found out, is always filled with pot holes. You can try and dodge them.. but inadvertantly you end up in another one.. maybe not as shallow as the first and therefore creating a sore bottom.

My road is steadily becoming less and less potholed as I am finding reasons to either fill these pot holes in or just hit them as they come (although admittadly sometimes I just get out of the car and walk very slowly to avoid everything.).

Lately the pot holes are work. Work shouldn't be all life consuming. It should be something you do so that you can make money to do the things you enjoy. There are very few people who go to work every morning thinking "man. there is nothing else in the world i'd rather be doing." I having a feeling I will never be one of those lucky few seeing has I always choose jobs that I really have no experience in but for some reason believe I can do anyways. Back to the pot hole.

The hole that i hit most often and the hardest is the "artist" hole. Its the hole where no matter what your day is like there is always the artist that calls to complain. There is always the artist that calls to tell you your work simply isn't sellable (although they are keeping it anyways.) There is always the artist who calls and insists on speaking to your boss (which in my case does precious little because my boss is virtually blind, deaf & dumb). But there is always that artist.

Today's artist has me considering dumping this job to work for a company that doesn't do artists. Very seriously. I won't get into details.. but lets just say I very very much so hate colour correcting. So much so that I don't want to do it anymore.. therefore making everything black and white from not on. Every photo will be in black and white that is in my apartment.. feel free to add colours in your imagination my friends! Maybe you'll even remember what colour of shirt you were actually wearing (although not much fun in that is there.)

So in short. I'm going to start the job hunt again. I think. Right after marcos gets back. I feel I want to talk this out over a pillow with someone (sadly none of you are available.. so i shall wait for him to come back.) I suppose the challenge will be to fill in the artist pothole without creating new ones like "rotten customers all day long" potholes and "not making enough money to do this shit" potholes. hm.

In other news... I get my couch today. My internet/cable/telephone man appeared yesterday (dressed as a very good looking and intelligent young man) so I have that.. and now I don't work until Friday. We went to hot yoga again Monday.. and I tell ya.. as sore as I felt the day after... I was glad I went.. perhaps I'll go tomorrow too.

anyways.. i must skiddadle as the couch guy just called and said he'd be at my place in 30 minutes... sadly thats not where I am.. so I must get there before him!

shall talk to you all soon!

(ps.. amy i sent mail hoping it would take a week to get to your new place and arrive perhaps onthe first/maybe the second. hopefully its not that speedy from victoria? lol

xxoo

I wish I was in the the Philippines.

2007-08-21T07:59:00.000-07:00

Oh good morning Everyone. And should I say I'm sorry again as well. I know.. I know. I really should keep up with this.. after all it is a good source of therapy. But as of right now.. I believe I am on the path to happiness, if not a little excitement. Let me elaborate.

My holidays;

It has been discovered that when you go away for long stretches of time (9-10 months) and then return to your old life, you may have in fact glorified your old life while you were away. Or maybe that's just how I felt.
Returning to Toronto was everything I expected it to be. People change of course, but I think we are all changing for the better, or at least trying too.
Returning to Bracebridge, nothing really changed. It was friggin hot the whole time (which is something that doesn't happen here), my sister was still as self obsessed as ever (mostly involving her relationship with her boyfriend) and everyone in town still can't tell me and lindsay apart. Meh. I never really talked to anyone about town anyways.

My birthday was the usual drama filled occassion I assumed it would be. But it was a good time in general. I'm glad I was home for it.

Wasaga Beach was a fiasco all on it's own. Steveo first had the balls to ask how long I was staying and then proceed to introduce himself to my sister as the guy that I am in love with and will end up marrying. What a joke. Apparently he's moved back to Ontario now, and for some reason assumed I would too. I hope he didn't think I'd move for him. lol.

I have been back for a few weeks now - and it's good to back into the swing of things. Although it seems I am starting a new chapter with a little change. I made the decision to transfer China's. It was just too far to drive to sindey 3-5 times a week, and they couldn't accommodate my work schedule anymore (I don't know who thought I would be able to work 70 hour work weeks without complaining.) I'm supposed to talk to the Sidney store manager today and let him know.. and then find out about talking to the Quadra store manager (the store thats like 3 blocks from my house).

Dragon boating is over, which is sad but I'll be able to have my voice back. I sound like one of those 50's night club singers. Gay thinks it's sexy.. I'm not so sure. There are a few things I will elaborate on about Dragon boating tho;

= I met a guy. He meets all of the criteria. His name is Marcos. He treats me and everyone around him like gold. Into the story?

I met marcos probably 3 months ago.. May 10th to be exact on Melissa's birthday dinner. I thought he was cute and pretty nice.. to be honest I thought he may have been hitting on me.. but I didn't really say anything because it looked like he was hitting on Melissa too... anyways. I decided to join dragon boating. He, as it turns out, is the captain of the team. He is a assistant store manager I think at one of the Fairways in town? Not either of my stores tho. I've steadily flirted with him the last three months.. but he is such a nice guy that he is friendly with everyone so I was never really sure if he was flirting with me. I told melissa a couple of weeks ago that I may have a crush on him.. but she said it's hard to tell if he's flirting back because he's so friendly.
Last weekend was our first race weekend. Marcos and I spent the weekend just talking and watching the races... I dunno.. it seemed really.. cozy? Every once and awhile he'd put an arm around me... and give up his chair so I could sit down.. just little things.. but Melissa said he could be jsut being friendly. He was like that all week.. he even commented my hair one night at practise. It was so random but cute.
THis weekend was the big Vancouver Island Championships. Saturday we spent all day together.. we sat together.. he was constantly touching me.. whether is was just an arm around me.. or just standing really close together. I asked Melissa again as we were walking back to my place to get ready for dinner and the bar and she said "I dunno.. he could just be friendly". At this point I was pretty sure he was interested.
When we arrived at the place for dinner, he showed up shortly after and promptly sat beside me. We weren't in a booth.. but on stools and some how or another our stools turned into a bench and we were sitting so close together that out thighs were touching. It was an great dinner and we were having fun. Melissa and I then went to the bathroom and I asked her again and she still said I dunno. Finally Deb asked me to go out for a smoke with her and she was like "so.. you and marcos eh?" I was just like "I dunno.. melissa says he could be just friendly" and she was like "are you nuts? he is totally into to you.". So when we went back out I sat down and he put his arm around me.. just to test the waters I rested my hand on his leg... and he moved closer to me.
We had a few more drinks and then decided to go down to the club that had opened up in the basement. marcos knew the owners so got us in VIP without paying for cover or anything. He was mint. We dance and laughed and then all of sudden he was wrapped around me and kissed me. I just shivered thinking about it. It was nice. It wasn't a desperate drunken kiss.. it was a nice soft kiss. From then I on.. it was just us and dancing when I realized that we were "that" couple. That couldn't keep our hands off each other and makes everyone else around them awkward. So i just said to him that I didn't want to be that couple and I wanted everyone to have a good time and not feel awkward because of us and he totally got it. Melissa was still peeved about Tristan (the guy she liked) disappearing so she wanted to go home. So.. I went and said good bye to him as he's such a socialite and knew everyone there. It was lovely.. just kissing and saying good bye and kissing. Sadly he was going to the Philippines Sunday morning for a month. Booo.

Anyways. That is my story. And in case anyone is wondering.. it wasn't just a drunken incident because I got a messege this morning from the Philippines wishing he was back here with me. (giant smile on my face).

Anyhoo.. that is my excitement for the moment. I do have more to tell.. but I have to do some work while I'm hear right? boooo

xxoo

MyRon vs MoRon

2007-07-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

I tell ya.. this morning did not go well at all! If it could go wrong it did.

1. MyRon (or MoRon) tried to yell at me about something that he really had no clue about. Which mad him even matter when I called him on it... which in effect got me into more trouble. Ass.

2. A job that was completed early last week got lost in Shipping so I had to ask Deb to print it again.. and then after I'd given the new one to shipping she called to tell me she hadn't completely trimmed it so I had to get it back again and trim it. ass.

3. The Indigo broke. Again.

4. I tripped on the telephone wire and snapped it in two while Mike (the indigo operator) was on the phone with tech support trying to fix it.

5. Quality Control fucked up a very important order so now I have to reprint it again. all 38 prints.

Really thats it. But it really seemed terrible at the time because it was all happening at once. yeah.

So i went shopping last night before dragon boating and bought a wonderfully darling white summer dress to wear to lindsay's birthday.. it soo pretty. I heart it. It makes me look even more tanned! (I know.. I'm obsessed with being tanned now. But for the record.. everyone out here is tanned.... so I'm not the only crazy one.)

I then proceeded to dragon boating and yelled my face off... and now i have no voice. which is fine.. cause I don't feel like yelling or being upset today.

The end. Working in china tonight.. boooo. so working here (CIP) then tanning then eating then china. and then laundry. yarg. I just need to do laundry! sob

10 more days!

Only I would end up in Naniamo in the middle of the night.

2007-07-16T11:35:00.000-07:00

My lord is been a busy week! Where oh where to begin....

Thursday!
I am dragon boat drummer! HAHAHAHAH
No really.
I went with Melissa and Guathio (sounds like squato) to dragon boating and as it turns out I get to sit at the front of the boat and yell things and beat a drum. Funkin hilarious if I don't say so myself. Sadly there are no hot guys on the team. BUT there are races at the end of August where I've been guaranteed good looking, tanned, hot, sweaty men. bah.

Friday!
Melissa and I decide we are going to hot yoga. I don't know if any of you have every been to hot yoga.. but try doing an hour and half yoga class in a room with 30 other people in it in about +40 degree sunshine. You got it. It stinks. And your sweating. And you starring at the guys next you's sweaty balls. (no joke. I saw droplets form and fall off). We walked out of there with clothing feeling like i've just stepped out the ocean (the ocean instead of a pool because of all of the salty film left after sweating.) It was hard! I was a hurting unit afterwards EXCEPT just before we went to go to Yoga, Lindsay, my friend from Vancouver called and convinced me to come to Burnaby for the night / next day.

So i race home after yoga have the coldest shower available to mankind before you catch phenomia and then race to the liquor store and onto the 9pm ferry. I finally arrive in Vancouver to realize I dont REALLY know where I'm going. I then proceed to get lost in Vancouver until roughly midnight? lol. When I finally arrive at Lindsays she's got half the Irish FIFA soccer team and their friends in her backyard absolutely sloshed. lol. SO funny. and most of them just happened to be good looking and funny. I may in fact have suggested a large jammy party in my futton. lol. ANNYways... it was a very funny night which concluded in me pulling my pants down in the street... puking for an hour... seeing a fat mans weenie as i pushed him out of my bed... and then passing out. lol. I wish there were pictures. lol.

Saturday morning Lindsay and I spend the morning suntanning in her backyard as her boyfriend searched for her missing cat (who codincidentally was really just hiding under the sofa all morning) and then we went on an adventure to the beach in North Van. It was an ocean beach. The kind where you see starfish in the water when your trying to brave the cold. Needless to say I'm a warm water swimmer so I didn't get in on purpose. Lindsay's friends had brought a skidoo of some sorts so I get on with Lindsay driving. We were doing soo well.. until we fell off going 90 miles an hour. She landed right on top of me and we tumbled and drown for like 10 more yards. We had to swim like 25 yards in friggin ice cold water to get back to the damn ski doo. It was fucking hilarious tho. So the beach had bands playing so we dried off and baked for a while longer listening to the band when I remembered I was supposed to go to my work bbq. OOOOPS. so mike (lindsays hot hot friend) gives me Directions to Horseshoe Bay Terminal which "apparently" goes to Swartz Bay outside of Victoria. Not a fucking chance. I end up on a damn ferry going to Naniamo.. which happens to be 2 hours from Victoria. So I didn't go to the BBQ. lol. I got home at like 11:30. SO funny. Shit like that only happens to me.

Sunday I tried to go the gym when I realized that when I got onto the eliptical.. that my legs... thighs... ass.. lowerback.. and shoulders didn't work very well. In fact not at all. I walked like I'd been anal raped by a telephone pole all day. lol. So i worked 10:30 to 7 in China.. then went to Melissa's for asain dinner in which her landlords made for us.. consumed a couple bottles of wine.. then drove home and went to bed. It was a friggin action packed weekend to say the least. whewf.

Today I'm working 7-3:30 then tanning then eating then 5-9 then doing laundry.
Tomorrow I'm working 7-3:30 then dragon boating at 7 - 8:30
Wednesday; 7-3:30 then tanning then eating then 5-9
Thursday 7-3:30 work then dragon boating 7 - 8:30
Friday work 7 - 3:30 thenn OFF
Saturday and Sunday I'm in Vancouver all weekend for Lindsay's Birthday... which as funny as it is... the irish boys will be at too....

then the same routine next week AND THEN LEAVING ON NEXT FRIDAY FOR ONTARIO!!!!!
I'm sooo pumped to see you girls! Its eating me alive!

Hurray. So the goal is to get everyone something in Vancouver next weekend and some furniture for the place and thats it!
Love you all muchly... until next time!!

Only my aunt calls to tell me I left a sock behind. Only mine.

2007-07-08T11:57:00.000-07:00

Oh I'm terribly sorry my loves! It's been 15 days, or 360+ hours since I've last blogged.. but for purely good reasons.

Reason A.
I've decided to try and survive as long as possible without the internet/cable/home phone in my apartment. Not only for money reasons, but also because it forces me to read more, get out and see stuff, to be social and do more of those artsy fartsy things I never seem to have time for. lol. And also because thats an extra $80+ bucks a month that i can spend on decorating and crafty things.

Reason B.
I've been sooooo busy at work(s) that there isn't time for sneaking about on the internet. And believe you/me, I want to sneak about about write to about the last two weeks adventures!

Reason C.
With all this moving business.. I just haven't had time.

On with the stories you say? TAAAADA!

Love Life - Obviously the least important but the most interesting.
I don't like Matt. In fact, we couldn't be friends even because he has no personal convictions. But here I am.. doing dinner and movie with him tomorrow.. because he's one of those people that is so shy that when he grows the balls to ask you can't say no. Damn in Amy.. i know how it feels to be in your relationship. lol. cept not as bad. lol. The last time we hung out.. it was by accident. It was Canada Day weekend.. and it was my last night in the crazies house. Melissa and I ended up at Allen's house as he was having a shindig and matt happened to be there. To be completely honest.. they are the most imbred hicks I think i've come across... and I grew up in bracebridge and went to school in belleville! Their life is soley consumed by drugs and alcohol. Their house is a run down shack that allens boss lets them live in for free in exchange for manual labour. They have no dreams, aspirations, talents, skills or interesting features. Obviously I didn't fit in, and understandably matt tried to make me have a better time by "bashing" the people at the party. What does that say about you as a person if you continue to go to parties that your supposid best friend holds and then spend the night trying to impress a girl by pretending you don't like anyone there? yeah.
On the good front.. my building has a number of decent looking boys/men that live in it.. I just have to figure out their schedules around mine. lol.

My new apartment - Obviously the most exciting news - but an on going project
Yes. I love it. I will live here until they tear this building down. Ok.. maybe not that long.. but i really do love it. When i get my new furniture i will post a few pictures on here.. right now it just looks empty considering i only own a bed. yup. no other furntiture. Although with the amount of books that I own I could probably building some furniture out of the them. I did however buy I a bed - which came last week... and then on saturday I baugh a condo couch and lounge. Its just amazing. you'll all be jealous when you come see me. You did notice the "when" in that last sentance. The couch is a dark chocolate brown.. and the lounge is a creme with brown and tourqouis swirls.. so i painted one wall tourquois. it might be the funniest thing ever. That or the fact that I baught a fish and named him cornelious cobknobler. its because his eyeballs stick out of his head and are black and look like knobs. lol. He always makes me laugh. lol.

My job - Part 1. The 50 year old men syndrom
MyRon has now made the executive desicion that I am in charge of scheduling everything in the damn company. Scheduleing alone will take me most of the morning - and then doing all of the indigo jobs - and then doing all of my printing - there just enough time in my day - not money in my paycheck for this. I must find an easier way to do this. Mike - the one with the permanent pantywad up his ass - has since recruited Galadriel - the nasty lesbian - so neither of them EVER talk to me. Not ever. Not a good morning. Not a "I broke my press". Not "Your a raging bitch stop talking to me". Nothing. I don't mind it.. except that when there are problems they never tell me so I am always wondering why jobs aren't getting done. Frustrating as hell. Jerks. But hey.. if they want to act like 10 year girls so be it.. i am there to do a job and so are they. If they do their job everything will be fine.

My job - Part 2. China
I have begun a crusade. Ok 2 crusades. One is to rid the world of pennies. I never give them out any more. lol. The second is the rid my air space of know it all crusty chinese women. You heard me. I am so over the crusty old chinese women telling me what to do.. when I have clearly worked there for two months and know what I am doing. One of the women rose got in my face when i was busy one day about putting something back on the shelf and i turned to her in the middle of my order and said "rose. if you have so much time to be over here telling me to do it, why don't you do it." so hasn't talked to me since. holly: 1 chinese women: 0. Next was Juilette. She came over one evening and asked if I would come take over til 2 so she could go home. I calmly said "juilette. there is no one here. I will wait until you are out of the til before I go over. I have worked this shift more than 40 times in the last two months. I know how it works". She then said "don't get bitchy with me. i sick of this fucking shit." i laughed. Holly:2 Chinese Women: 0. Only 8 more to go.

Other random News:

Ontario in t-minus 20 days!

Amy & Stace.. are we still meeting up in Calgary? Yes? No? Either way.. I am still gonna go that weekend to see my friend Jenn. She just called and we talked for like and hour. She's a crazy funny girl to be sure.

Oh. And the crazies called my cell phone the other day to tell me I left a sock at their house. Only MY crazies would call to tell me that.

Plans for tonight? SEWING! And ready.

OH THE Y! I forgot to tell ya'll! (correct.. i used the term ya'll!) Its the most amazing place in the world. They have 3 huge gyms, two pools (both of which I can't seem to find).. and they do all sorts of classes.. like dance and yoga and fitnes and all sorts of fun amazing things! I love it. And there are hot boys there.. not just old people! AND it only cost 30 bucks a month! Hurray. OH and its only 2 block away from my apartment! I love walking there cause there is a graveyard/park that i have to walk through. its awesome.

Ok. I'm tired of typing now.. but we will all talk soon. OH. and can you please all email me the following;

Name
Address
Home Phone
Cell Phone

As it turns out.. my address book is lost and i can' write letters! It's so sad!

love you all muchly!!
xxoo

My war on the scale.

2007-06-23T08:47:00.000-07:00

TUesday evening I went to the mall. I had to pick up my shoes so it only seemed fair to get some new jeans in my newly "lost weight" state. Instead it turned ugly. My theighs are still large. Boo. I nearly cried. But instead got my hair cut and felt moppy. So I went to Linen'n'Things; my new favourite store. Where I baught a scale. Tara, sales at work, says when you've had enough you've had enough and you normally succeed at doing what ever it is to solve the problem. So i'd had enough of this mystery that is weight loss. I was going to weigh my self regularly so that I would continue to loose weight. After Linen'n'THings I walked to the gym and back, had a shower.. but then still couldn't get on the scale. So I didn't snack and went to bed. In the morning, after my shower, I got on it. Do you know what it read?

180 pounds.

I was stunned. Never in my life have a felt like that. So I hada yogurt for breakfast, a salad for lunch and a veggie wrap for dinner. I then went to the gym for an hour. I weighed myself again.

176 pounds.

No idea whats going on here. So thursday I have dried fruit for breakfast, small potato salad for lunch, 6 chicken wings for dinner and go to the gym. I weighed myself that night.

174 pounds.

Friday I get up early to go to the gym cause I have to work all day, i have an apple muffin for breakfast, a small potato salad for lunch and a veggie wrap for dinner. I get up this morning and weigh myself.

173 pounds.

I then take a poop. and for kicks weigh myself.

172 pounds.

So according to my scale in 68 hours I have lost;

8 pounds.

Is that actually possible? I don't think so.. but physcologically it makes me feel good. lol. It drove me out of bed this morning to go the gym before my eyebrow waxing appointment! And it will probably drive me not to eat or drink like a pig today. It all seems very strange. However, I would like this on the record.. I am still not happy at 172 pounds. I will be content at 160... but be happy at 150... and at the rate I'm going... I should be at 160 by the end of next week? lol.

Anyways.. today I am going to the gym.. getting the eyebrows waxed... going furniture shopping with Matt .. working 5 -9 and then going out for "drinks" with melissa.

Until later my loves! Can't wait to see you all!!!

xxoo

Why my life is awesome.

2007-06-15T19:08:00.000-07:00

Oh lovey's!

Today/yesterday have been absolutely wonderful! Where to begin??

Well.. yesterday morning was a little stressful.. but I was hopeful that Matt would actually call. It was pushing 8pm and there was no call.. so I decided a shower and bed.. well.. i gotta out the shower and my phone rang! Matt! He was so nervous and cute and such! He was like "well this is embarrassing but i cant pick you up because i dont have a car.. can we meet there?".. it was cute.. he was really embarrassed. So we met at starbucks and got a coffee and walked ALL over Sidney for 2 hours.. it was funny. He's the kinda guy that gets so nervous that he just says the first thing that comes to his mouth and then immediately says afterwards.. oh god.. probably shoulda have said that just yet. lol. in a way it was cute. but yeah.. we do have a lot in common and he doesn't need that much saving after all.. ok a little bit of saving.

The checklist?

1) Car? Negative
2) Job Only Part time for BC Ferries
3) Own Place Negative. Lives with Parents
4. More hair products then me? Nope!! Which is a good thing!

BUT this is not over reacting and over thinking.. because checklists are nothing.. i suppose all of these things are very material things... so just no over thinking sigh.

AND THEN.. work went well today.. Kentucky called! I definetly said that I could have the job running his new magazine.. which just happens to be based IN THE GULF ISLANDS! Friggin nuts. He hasn't yet got the publication yet.. but still.. hurray?

AND THEN.. this afternoon I went to Linen n'Things and it was amazing! I baught; a blender, a dinner sit, a block of 23 knife set, a stainless steel garbage can, a 16 set of glasses, a dish drying rack all for under $200 beans! Sooooo.. being the money saver I am *cough* i went to Old Navy.. where for the first time ever.. every pair of pants I tried on.. in my regular size of 12 for the past 4 years FIT ME! my fat bulge is almost gone! Back to regular me! Hurray!

TOnight.. im just vegging out and rewarding myself with movies and wings!

what a good few days! h. and ps. t-minus 15 days until my new place. t-minue 42 days until Toronto!

xxoo

Oh the discouragement of it all.

2007-06-13T20:32:00.000-07:00

Oh my Oh my. I know I should be so excited and spending money like a mad woman for my new apartment but alas.. i find it frustrating cause I'm so concerned about matching and looking good and then i get caught up with how much money I do and don't want to spend. AHAH.

The conundrum today? Do you buy the mattress first? Or the bed frame first? YIKES! I know I know it really shouldn't be that difficult of a decision.. of course.. the money is mostly an issue.. cause really.. how much is too much to spend on a mattress and a box spring?? AHHH!

I think i probably went to our different furniture stores today.. and couldn't decide on anything! AH! not even dish towels! AH! It's damn near official. I'll be moving into the apartment with the clothes on my back. It'll take me 10 minutes to unpack. hahaha.

boo.

in other lands.. Matt and I made tentitive plans to hook up today.. but then I went to town without him and then he went golfing at 7:30.. so it didn't really workout.. BUT he did call me to say he was sorry he didn't know thats what the boys had planned.. but that if i wanted to hook up tomorrow we could.. or friday.. but he was going up island this weekend but maybe even next week. so cute. i'm just gonna say this once... and in a light and airy way.. it is so nice not to feel that dramatic feeling i always feel when i first hook up with a boy. I don't know if you know what I mean.. but I always feel really anxious and annoyed and always find a reason not to hang out with him and then I obsess over it and so on and so forth AND they always turn out to be weird strange guys or that I'm always persuing them.. but really.. this just seems so natural. No scaryness... no nervousness.. i didn't even debate whether or not to call him back or not. I just did it. Such a nice feeling.
He said he'd call me tomorrow when i'm done work. sigh.

ps. apparently im avoiding melissa now. really im just avoiding running with her. she'll actually make me do it. lol. booo

the end!

pss. SOUTH AFRICA AMY! HONESTLY! I'M IN SHOCK!

I don't want to get anyones hopes up but...

2007-06-10T18:48:00.000-07:00

I may in fact have a love life. No no.. let me rephrase. I have met a boy.. whom.. still likes me even tho I did make a giganitc ass out of myself in an extreme drunken state. Really. Thats how great he is. lol.

I may have mentioned that absolutely ridiculous party i went to with melissa a few weekends back? well the guy matt. not only did he hunt me down on facebook.. we are still chatting and I may have invited him to coffee... in a very non specific way. lol.
We shall see. His friends are all hicks and dirty drug mungers.. but really.. when you stuck in sidney and thats what you've grown up with.. its hard to get out of. I'll be that girl.. the helper outer! lol. No.. i won't try and save him.. just coffee would be nice?

Anyone. The crazies invited me for dinner. I politely declined. I am so over them. I want them to know it. After last weekends comments.. i am over niceities.. I am over just their crazy antics.. its past just being weird and into rude. I don't need their food. I don't need their charity. And I don't need their basement and hyprocritical/nazi like views.

I don't know if i've mentioned this or not.. but..

I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT MOVING!!!!

ok. until later my pets!

Ahh my own little slice of peace! AND EXCITEMENT!

2007-06-09T08:34:00.000-07:00

Ok. so funny story. The day I went to see the apartment I loved it soo much that i called my mum from outside the building to make sure i wasn't being rash. Then, being in the most excitable state ran downtown to the scotiabank to get a check to give to the landlady. I ran all the way with my phone in my hands.. then after getting to the bank and getting my check.. i proceeded to run all the way back to the apartment withput my phone in my hands.

When i got back to the apartment I soon discovered there was no phone to be had. The landlady was soo nice and we had a laugh and she let me use her phone to call mine half a dozen times.. to no avail. I knew I had left it on the counter at the bank but by the time i would have gotten back to the bank they would have been closed. So i filled out the paper work, and went home. By the time I had reached home Scotiabank had called to tell me my phone was there and that i could pick it up. Such nice people. The next morning I called the landlady to make sure she got all the documents and to thank her. I guess i had stepped out of the office for a moment but she called back and said that scotiabank just called her to tell her they had my phone and she wanted to tell me! So nice.

So by the time I pick up my phone.. its friday afternoon. I was meeting the team downtown anyways so i left early to make it to the bank in time. There were 6 messeges on my phone. Happily enough the first messege was from the Landlady saying that Congratulation the apartment is yours and i hope you found your phone because as much as i'd like to call your house line I think it might be awkward with your current landlords.. so I hope you get this! It was so funny. So i called her back but had to leave a messege but OBVIOUSLY i was so excited!

So excited to the point where i walked to the mall and proceeded to the house and home section of The Bay. lol. I didn't buy anything.. don't worry.. but cheeeeese I wanted to. I've resolved to only start buying things once i can actually measure the apartment and really know what i need. Look at me.. being smart! HA!

I did however, get paid yesterday. So I put my plane ticket on my visa, but then proceeded to pay most of my visa off and then put 500. more on my line of credit. I can so do this. I didn't spend a dime in 2 days! Until yesterday.. but even then.. its was only $40 on parking.. dinner and beers with the work team. So proud of myself. Today I'm not spending anything either.. only free entertainment which includes.. the gym (because its already paid for).. walking.. cleaning.. tanning (because its already paid for) and the doctors. sigh.

PS! My flights are booked! I arrive in Toronto on July 27th at 6:18 pm and then leave from Toronto August 6th at 5:45 pm! Hurray!! Can't wait to see you all. What would you like me to bring you all? I have a large TNA bag that I will be ONLY bringing with only a few pairs of clothing (haha who am i kidding) so i can do art.. or Van Island treasures (they have amazing eco friendly products here) or a tshirt.. or I could just suprise you? hmmm??

Anywho.. thats my exciting week. OH i forgot.. and I gave my resume to Kentucky yesterday afternoon.. so I hope he calls! He saw a copy of the Muskoka Magazine, North Country Business and the Showcase Real Estate and he shat his pants he was so in love. I hope he calls!

Ok team. can't wait to see you all... OH and Laural.. we really should do tea when I'm in TO.. me.. you.. meghan? Would be nice to meet you!

xxoo waffles!

HURRAY!

2007-06-06T20:12:00.000-07:00

OK. So. I may have my apartment. I'm not gonna get too excited but...

WHO AM I KIDDING! IM PUMPED!!!

So its just a one bedroom.. but its on the top floor of a building downtown.. about 4 blocks from the core.. but in a hippy suburb so it's chill and friendly. Its got old wood floors.. a wall of windows.. living room.. dining room.. clean bathroom.. large bedroom.. new appliances.. parking.. elevator.. you know.. its pretty decent really. It is, however, $755 a month. Boooo. But I can handle that with a paycheck. So basically its just budgeting my money that i have to do better. Really.

I can pay off all my monthly bills in one paycheck.. so i have to start doing that.

Posessions I own? Natta. Hellllllllo IKEA!!! and obviously antique row.. which is the street i live on!! HAHAHAHAHH!

onward and upward! no fruitless spending!!!

Good news.. kinda

2007-06-05T13:41:00.001-07:00

I know.. I know.. I was a little reluctant about the line of credit as well.. seeing as I dispise the idea of owing money to ANYONE! But alas.. in this situation.. I have it sorted out.

I did get the credit cause apparently I have the best credit rating available cause i've always paid my bills on time and such. So.. my credit is 10,000. Which is huge amount considering I DON"T need that much. Anyways.. i'm totally in for cheap furniture and have scoped out some stuff from thirft stores around. I mostly just got the credit because although I hate the idea of owing money.. i hate the idea of not having anything for anything in the first place. So.. the credit it mostly just a back up plan.

In other news.. i'm supposed to see an apartment tomorrow afternoon. we'll see. ps. i got your messege yesterday amy.. but couldn't call you back.. and then today i was sick so have been at home all day. i spent the night throwing up.. so.. no work.. until fairways that is.

ok. until later.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

2007-06-02T14:14:00.000-07:00

I tell you all what. I wanted to tell you by phone amy.. at least that will be a little more personal.. but I must write it down as well for everyone else. You probably won't read this first anyways.

Monday I went out for lunch with a man named Kentucky Douglas. He is a hippy by nature but a business man in his head. He also owns a large string of magazines/newspapers on the Island. I happen to do all of his corporate printing. Anyways. He calls me up Monday morning because he can't figure out how to change his logo in a word document that he has been using for his invoicing. He offers me to take me to lunch if I can fix it. So i say fine.. he's a pleasant man and never has a negative thing to say about anyone. Anyways.. we go to lunch and it takes me the entirety of 10 minutes to figure his problem out and fix it. He buys me lunch and we sit and talk for an hour. By the time the hour is up, he has divulged that he is in the works of buying up a bunch of magazines in the peninsula and is looking for someone to run one of them. Little did I know but he was basically interviewing me all of the lunch and asked me right there that if he acquired these would I like the job. I said absolutely. He said that I could pick the staff to work with and that if they were coming from out east that he has a house on the ocean that he is more than willing to rent out. I said I was definately interesting.

So thats my huge news for the week basically. I am seeing him again Monday with a copy of the Muskoka Magazine and my resume and we'll see how it goes. Obviously I'm extending an invitation to Amy on this ones.. you can have either sales or creative... but we'll see eh?

In other news... the crazies came home last night. I didn't seem them until when the third sentance that came out of my aunts mouth was "so your bathroom looks like a science experiement". and I said "how do you figure" and she said your shower and toliet are digusting. In which I replied.. I cleaned them on wednesday. Fucking bitch. They are not digusting. I'll admit they could be cleaned more often then I do.. but honestly.. no one is making her use them... and in all honestly what the fuck is she doing in my shower anyways. whore.

Which brings me to my next statement. I'm going to see about a line of credit next week. I don't have enough money to move out and buy furniture all on my own right now.. but that last comment has pushed me right over the edge. I can't live her any longer. So the goal is to get an appointment with the bank as soon as possible so get my own place. Hopefully by july first. I need to get the fuck out of here. Now.

Anyways.. can't wait to see you all soon! 55 days!!

I'd like to make an amendment.

2007-05-27T17:10:00.000-07:00

Well.. apparently I was a little drunk this morning when I wrote that first blog too. lol. I had to reread it to remember what i wrote. lol. In anycase.. an amendment.

Melissa and I are still friends. Her ex aaron is not as gross as previously suspected. Krystal still likes me and asked me to go out for drinks sometime.

I am still a hurting unit.

BUT Lindsay is coming over to sidney next saturday so it'll be sweet to see her. AND she officially invited me to her birthday weekend in july – which incidentally is the weekend before I go home.. in anycase... she said that we were gonna go out and have a riot but that there is a special after party secret surprise for me afterwards. lol. and that only her, andy (her boyfriend) and james (andy's cousin) know about it. I did ask if the hot boy from a few weekends ago was going to be there and she said probably not. but that James would be there. Which isn't that good of news for me.. considering i thought the other guy was super hot. lol.

anyhoo... must go. walking to the gym. sigh.

Holy Fucking God.

2007-05-27T09:05:00.000-07:00

I now know why I don't have too many friends around here. It may be because I have foot and mouth disease. Thats right folks. As soon as I get a little beer into me (and by a little i mean 3 bottles and a bottle of wine) I get all carried away and start speakin without thinkin. Me? Say random nasty things? I know... crazy. lol.

The whole story:

I made plans to go out with Melissa after work last night. I used to work at shoppers with her and now work in China with her. Anyway.. I don't know how it happened but it turned out that she and 3 of her friends came here. So it was Melissa, me, krystal, allen and matt.

We drank out faces off and had a good time until one of melissa's friends called and was like "we're having a party come over" which happened to be a block away. So we go. Beer and Wine in toe.

We get to this "party" and it turns out to be THE most REDNECK affair of me life. Like 4 pickup trucks on the lawn they have some drums and a guitar set up at a bonfire and there are about 20 girls under the age 0f 17. The house is disgusting, the toliet doesn't flush, the sink is filled with puke and there are more boys wearing nascar hats than I could shake a stick at. Well, matt and I decided right away that we don't want to be there.. but don't leave because of melissa and co. It started off creepy and then I got drunker and then I got talkin to people and at some point someone told me that Kristal and Allen were together and then at some point I got offended about something.. and then I went to leave and Allen said something to me and then I guess I told him that I was NOT going to sleep with matt cause I'm not that kinda girl and then everything got carried away and I offended everyone.. ah fuck I don't know. So apparently I walked home alone... locked all the doors and managed to crawl into bed.

So either way... I now have krystals wallet and booze and melissa's sunglasses here and I may have said I'd bring melissa coffee this morning but quite frankly I'm a little unsure as to if we're still friends. lol. ooooops.

i guess we'll find out . All i know is that... i wouldn't be sad if we never went out again.. me and melissa that is... i don't think i can handle myself around her friends.. seeing as they are all hicks and gross. except matt. i'm a little sorry i offended him. but in any case..

I must drink so juice and tylenol and go back to bed. yaaaaarg.

I did a very bad thing last night.

2007-05-21T08:14:00.000-07:00

Oh you'd shall all be mad at me. I'll consent to it. In fact if you aren't at least disappointed I'll be disappointed.

I might've been snopping around on Facebook late last night and came across Milly's wall.

( for those of you who do not know milly; a little back ground )
We met in February of 2003. We had a 3 month relationship. It was fun. He then broke up with me for reasons i can't remember. i then hooked up with my neighbour which incidentally was his bestfriend although i didn't know. Continued sleeping with shane, just to piss milly off until the summer. then randomly hooked up with milly again on my birthday in a ditch. and a car. and a park. lol. We then continued our tremoltuous relationship consisting of fighting and fucking. New Years Eve 2005. We hooked up which ended in my breaking all of the cds in his room I could find in a drunken rage in front of his friends wearing only a tshirt and undies. Then randomly saw him a year and bit later at a charity function where everyone including him thought we were going to hook up again. but i said no. anyways.. have talked to him few times since being out here but it always revolves around if we're going to get together soon or so on and so forth.

And then last night I caved. I was funkin around on the internet and came across his facebook and some pictures of this girl getting cozy with him. It drove me insanely jealous. he just moved to Toronto.. so I may have mentioned I'd be in toronto for a few days and he says we should meet up for old times sake.. shit. So let the disappointment begin.

Anyhooo... other then that... i've been workin all weekend. I did get paid on saturday. but apparently China wanted to pay me chinese wages. I worked 20 hours and they only paid me for 9.5. Last time I checked if one works either 4 hours shifts of 6 hour shifts.. there is NO WAY you can be paid for 9.5. idiots.

Other than that... Just chillin today. I've decided that Sundays are NO car days. So i'm walking to the gym in a bit.. then walking to work for 5. Other than that. Laundry.. some cleaning. And enjoying the sun today!

xxoo

i certainly DO NOT have A TAIL! I have two. sob.

2007-05-19T09:44:00.000-07:00

My oh my have some ferocious things happened in the last week.

Tuesday I went to see Feist with Tia. I know I know, but I had bought the ticket like two months ago so felt that I must go, it just so happened that she bought the ticket to the chair right next to me. I any case, it was weird. You know when you go to a concert and you feel like the lead singer is crooning to you? Or talking specifically to you? Well I didnt feel that at all with Feist. I felt like she was faking it. Like she didn't want to be there and that she was just doing her job. Albeit the music was good and enjoyable but everything in between seemed... like hard work. I was a little disappointed. A Tia tail? Well.. she spent much of the beginning of the evening talking shit about boys she'd met on the way to the theatre (which were all completely made up because she's actually terrified to speak to boys) and then when I finally got a moment I tried to tell her about my receipt story and she just starred at me with a blank stare. Like.. not even faking interest. I don't think she has any grounds to think that my stories are made up considering I am ALWAYs the one who introduces her to boys or does the random boy talking in public. She didn't even do a fake smile. I was like "ok. so either thats your jealous face because your life is actually quite dull and not full of cute boys or you have to clean out your ears because that was one damn exciting story." So yeah.

Wednesday I went to the doctor. When my dad was 19 he grew an abcyst on his tailbone that was huge that he had to have surgry on. His mother had to pack his ass with guaze for weeks and he had to wear pantyhose. He couldn't walk or sit for 5 weeks. Well.. a month or so ago beasey got one of these, but she went to the doctors to and they gave her some antibiotics and it shrunk so it didn't hurt anymore. Well my ass started to hurt around the same time. I shouldn't say hurt.. it was just like a dull throb when i say down or touched it. I thought I was just imagining it. So i ignored it until wednesday. Well the doctor made me bend over a table and he felt around my crack and discover TWO sinus's. They are like little golf tee's. The pointy ends gets burrowed in your tailbone and the large end sticks up above the skin. In time they grow and fill themselves with fluid and become extremely painful like my farches. Well the doctor gave me the same antibiotics they gave my sister to stop the inflamation and hopefully stop the growth of these fuckers but he still suggested I get them removed because they will grow and get infected at some point or another. yeah. awesome eh> so he referred me to a surgeon, whom hasn't called yet, but I'm supposed to get my shot in the next week or so anyways so I have to go in and I'll get them to call again so I can get an appointment. I dont particallarly want to have surgery on my ass.. but if that gets me some time off inthe summer.. thats some serious beach time! lol. plus I'll get sick leave. lol.

Thursday? Well because of my meds I can't have alcohol at all.. and sadly enough it was Dylan's and Jenn's going away dinner that night. So I was the DD. boo. We had dinner and it was teary with some laughs. Very sad. So she leaves on Monday AM, suprememly early and her parents are coming tonight to help her pack. So.. she's back to Calgary. But we've already decided I'm visiting in September.. more to come on that.. and probably when I drive home.. which she informed me I will either have to do in October or April because of the Rockies being horrific to drive through in the winter.

As for September. Amy, if you end up going to Calgary in Sept. I'll just meet you there! I know jenn'll find us some crazy shit to do. But I know stacey will want to be with andrew.. and then end up seeing Josh and those fucks... and Im not really interested in that. So we can hang out and I'll hang out with jenn and it'll be awesome!!

Friday? I worked ALL day. from 7am-9pm. Boo. However, yesterday was pay day so I shall be picking up a check today! I dare say it's a pretty sweet deal to get paid every Friday now. And I actually like working at the grocery store. its not so terrible after all.

anyhoo.. must vamous. got loaaads of laundry and book I must start plus the gym and some tanning to be done.. ALL before 5!

love you guys lots! OH and my march was like "well.. have your surgery there and then fly home for your recovery!" and i was like "are you nuts? i'll be having surgery on my ass and you want me to sit on a plane for four hours afterwards?". hilarious!

xxoo!

how could i have forgotten!

2007-05-14T21:24:00.000-07:00

Team:

I talked to a gym boy!! Not only did i talk to him. I told him he was hot. and then i turned red. and he smiled and squeezed me. then i ran away. i may have been redonkulously drunk as i've just remember tonight when i wanted to go to the gym. Mind you, it wasn't THE gym boy, but it was one of them. I had made this ridiculous rule that every time you call out that a guy is hot you have to tell him. I broke the rule frist. so had to do it. im such a joke. luckily i was drunk. lol. so. yeah.

man. that's gonna be awkward tomorrow.

On the upside. I get free bakery stuff when i work nights. Deal. Breakfast tomorra? Can we say cinnamon buns? Hurray!

200 dollars later.

2007-05-13T16:51:00.000-07:00

Last night was out of my mind. For everyone involved. Needless to say it was better then my last outing with tia byt 20.

First off, I missed the damn bus to get into town. So jenn drove in from Victoria to pick me up. And then the bus passed us. lol. So. we get to the restuarant, Sauce, where we were meeting Morgan and Erin. Funny funny girls. At this point Erin and Morgan are already a little drunk so I had to catch up. lol. I had two sangrias, and three martini's. lol. and a salad. But I wasn't drunk. Just a little more.. confident? lol. So we're eating when this guy and girl comes in. They are obviously on a first date. They weren't really talking or looking into one anothers eyes, they were just starring around the restuarant. I made the comment tothe girls that he was hot and that they didn't look right together. I then might've made a comment that I should seduce him away from his date... by just spreading my legs in the skirt that i was wearing. I may have said it a little loud. Jenn then said that he was totally checking me out.. and I might've said "he's checkin me out cause he knows I'd put out and she wouldn't." lol. Ok so I was a little drunk. lol. Jenn then erin are watching him and he's totally checking me out and ignoring the girl he was with. So you know what I do?? When we're leaving I wrote my number on my receipt and got up and turned around and looked him in the eyes and he looked me in the eyes. and I handed him my number and he smiled. lol. HILARIOUS!

So we go to Plan B, a bar. I probably had 13 drinks? But wasn't feeling altogether drunk. Did some dancing.. had some laughs.. it was a good time. I'm sorry I don't have more details. to be honest.. there wasn't really anything that stuck out to me.. nothing to special.. just good times. That and i'm a little hungover. lol. I must go find some grease. Perhaps more later.

Oh yeah, I baught a notebook, a leather bound notebook today. I shall start the writing, the old fashion way.

xxoo

Directly off the wagon. Day 2

2007-05-12T17:20:00.000-07:00

Team. I suck.

Food consumed today:

1 apple danish freshly baked.
6 potstickers (like little dumplings) made fresh with veggies.
1 box of thia noodles
1 mango lemonade
1 lemonade
2 pieces of pizza
1 pear (i now remember how to spell it)

And that is all before dinner and drinks in victoria. boo!
Exercise done: walked all over Salt Spring Island. possibly dancing later on.
That was all with tia early today on salt spring island. it sure is hippy ville. in an expensive way thats fore sure. I know what i'm bringin back for ya'll in july.

Tonight i'm going out with jenn, her sister and some of her friends downtown. I've made the decision already that i'm not driving into town. i'm taking the bus. so i can get as shittered as i very well please and take a cab home. and then tomorrow there will be hungoverednes and cleaning. boo. i suppose i should also go to the gym or do some exercise of some such.

until then my pets..

xxoo ciao babas

Day One of OGFW. I need better letters.

2007-05-11T15:10:00.000-07:00

Day one.

I suck. SO far.

Breakfast: Large Hot Chocolate $2.25

Snack: 5 timbits (i know. and they were the powder sugar ones with filling)

Lunch: 3 Bowls Strawberries (no sugar and they were spaced out in a 4 hour time
frame)

Dinner: 1 Bosc Pare (which i all of a sudden can't spell).
2 Glasses of Organic Apple Juice
2 Small Yogurts with fruit in the bottom (low fat)

The Gym: 20 Minutes Fast walking on the treadmill
20 Minutes on the Eliptical
4 reps of 12 on the Ab machine
4 reps of 12 on the thigh master (obviously not the right name)
4 reps of 10 on hang & lift knees to chin machine (am i good or what?)
1 1.5L bottle of evian. (so posh of me eh?)

How do i feel? Not hungrey. But still starring at the spare tractor tire around my waist.

Perhaps I'll try the swimming.. but i'll have to buy a real bathing suit for that.. since I don't think the other swimmers will enjoy my boobs busting out of the itsy bitsy teenie weenie red and green flowered bikini i will be sporting this summer.

Thanks team!

I am a happy duck.

2007-05-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

For once in my lifetime, and when i say lifetime i mean the last 6 months, I am happy to look in the mirror. I looked in the mirror this evening after my shower. after the gym. and after tanning (which i know by the way will age me fast then time itself). and i was happy with what I say. I got into the bathing suit i baught last summer and I felt happy with what i saw. hurray!

but that does not mean Operation Get Fit Wasage was not started today. Thats right. I've made the commitment as of this moment. Today, I went the gym and ate chicken and potato salad for dinner. mind you.. not much else today. but still. On the right path. I will be thin (and when i say think i mean my stomach will no longer look like its may have a mind of its own and my thighs will no longer touching when i walk/stand still/move. Deal? Deal. I've had enough. Meghan does her bike riding. Lindsay does her running. I must find something to do on a regular basis that will keep me moving/entertained and losing weight. Im up for ideas. Feesable ones.

AND. I'm saving up for my new place again. No more frivaless spending. I will not say where the new place is. When I find it I will find it and I will move there. It may in fact be Ottawa. Toronto. Australia. Prague. Victoria. Vancouver. Ethiopia. You heard me. So. Just saving. Following the rules of that book march and farch gave me. Mind you, I haven't yet read it, but farch gave me the jist of it.

SO! china is funny. secretly i hate it. but only cause i work nights and don't have to actually talk to the craziest of the craziest chinese women that works there that only works during the day. sigh.

OK so my frozen fruit is no longer frozen and ready for yummy yummy eating. mmmmmm ..so if ya'll excuse me.

OH. so i started that womans blog. the memoirs of the fat lady... and so far.. im not exactly intrigued. I've seen vague quiz after vague quiz. apparently it will get better. im waaaaiting.

xxoo

A discussion vs. preaching.

2007-05-07T16:46:00.000-07:00

The other day, a girl a used to work with added me to facebook. I worked with her at shoppers and have had a few drunken occassions with her. I also know that her dad is a full blown minister.

If there is one thing in life that I support it is the choice to make decisions about your body. Ashley, the girl from above, had joined an anti-abortion group. Now hear me out here. Without saying what I believe in or what I don't believe in, I absolutely 100% think its rude and not showing much empathy to human beings when you create or join on Facebook about Abortions.

I told her so. I said "I can understand and empathize with your right to not ever choose to get an abortion, but it saddens me that someone with your compassion and faith would join a "witch hunt" to change the minds of people who believe differently".

I don't care you if you would or wouldn't get an abortion. The decision should be a personal one, not one you should have to defend to a crowd, a person or a nation. No one in the world is every proud to say they've had an abortion, but if you've never been in the situation that one person was in.. how can you judge?

Just sayin is all.

So.. work in china? thats fun. at the moment I'm a little worked up so i'll comment later on working for Fu Man Choo.

xxoo

oh this is gonne be special...

2007-05-06T09:36:00.000-07:00

Team. Its been a funkin long weekend.. and by shit.. its not even over yet.

1. So i went to Vancouver Friday night to see Lindsay with promises of boys.. booze and good times. We'll there was booze and lots of boys.. but were lacking the party mode I was definately in. There musta been 20 guys there.. and then me and lindsay and kylie as the girls. it was a little strange. THere were some hot ones.. but everyone was gone by 12:00. So we got stoned. I haven't been stoned since being here.. but shit.. I had one toke and I was out. So I was passed out by 12:30. Tried to set my alarm on my phone.. that didn't work. Woke up at 6:30 to catch the 7am ferry. Fucking missed it. Was late to the new job by and hour! Needless to say they weren't impressed.

So the new job... I work at Fairways Market. Apparently, it used to be owned by a Chinese couple.. and they only hired Chinese staff. not a word of a lie. Me, Melissa and Elysa are the only "canadian" girls in that store. Its kinda strange. In fact its thoroughly annoying. Its bad enough being trained at a job you can do in your sleep.. but having a chinese woman who speaks enlish a little.... and feels the need to repeat everything she says 12 times. dear god.

Well team. Today I am going back. And then possibly to a bbq tonight. until later.

xxoo

a jobwhore for life.

2007-05-03T19:54:00.000-07:00

Oh hello! I'm sorry, I've been busy the last few weeks. But thats good news right? No mopping around feeling sorry for myself. I've been working hard, by not over doing it.
It came to me in a minute. The company's problems are not my problems. So now I dont worry about it too much. However, I do have a new job. Just a part time one, at the locol market. 9 buck an hour as a cashier? how could i not. anyways.. i will always have at least one day off for adventures.

Last weekend we went to Port Renfrew, beach combing. It was amazing. Oh. When i say we, i mean my a jenn. and when i say jenn, i mean my eyebrowist. lol. No, we're friends now.. and shes amazing. Cept she's moving back to Calgary cause she, like me, is finding victorians a little snobby. lol. a story from last weekend? well.. after we hit the beaches we went to this roadside cafe/restuarant to get some food. well.. the guys next to us were eating their freshly caught crab and boy were we eyeing it. it looked so good. so they gave us some! GAVE us two crabs! friggin crazy right? what next? well.. we were just chatting with them and they gave us some halibut. fresh-to-the-point-of-swimming-in-the-damn-ocean that morning. So we drove back to Sidney with a damn 70lb fish in a damn bucket in my damn trunk. so hilarious.

THis weekend.. I'm heading to Vancouver too see my friend Lindsay. I worked with her at shoppers in belleville during... second year? I was going to drive out here with her then.. but then i had to move home. needless to say she was pissed and hasn't talked to me til... well..when i moved out here. lol. so.. she's over it.. and now i'm going over friday afterwork.. partying our brains out.. apparently she nows a LOAD of single boys with careers... and then taking the 7am ferry back home saturday morning so i can go to the new job saturday at 9:30. dear god i know. the good news is the ferry ride is almost two hours.. so i can nap. lol. Sunday, jenn and i are going adventuring in gold stream park then to a bbq of one of the girls she works with. busy weekend i suspect.

so as you can tell.. im no longer moppy.. and considering moving out again. maybe i won't come home just yet? I am coming home in july for sure.. cause i need some friend and family time.. but not to stay for now i suppose.

ps. thanks laurel for you support.. its nice to hear from you!

miss ya heaps and heaps.. and still can't wait for july to come around!

xxoo

and the plans change again?

2007-04-21T17:03:00.000-07:00

1. What kinda money can you put in a man who when he has you he doesn't want a commitment and when he doesn't have you he's willing to commit in a minute? So is the case with Steveo. Pros and Cons.

Pros:
He makes a lot of money.
He just baught a brand new car.
He admitted he was an ass.
He admitted he had feelings for me.
Wants me to come see him.
Wants to find out if we can have a future.
Claims to want to move back to Ontario to be with me.
He has a huge heart.
He has gone out of his way for me when I need him.

Cons:
He once told a guy i was seeing that I was a slut so that we could get back together.
He slept with his ex after we made plans to get together for grad.
He never wanted commitment before.
He doesn't have his own place (living with family in florida right now).
He's a pot smoker. Heavy.
He's slept with quite a few people.
I sometimes think he is a nympho?

So what do we think? I like the sound of everything he says now (including wanting to take me to London, England and be extreme tourists) but from what has happened in the past I'm a little suspicious. I've said that I will be moving back to Ontario, not for him, but for me. If he shows up at my door and says everything he's said in the last week.. i might give him another chance. maybe. so there.

2. Everyone at the company I work at who knows what they are doing are wanting to quit. Some have had job offers. Others are waiting for the paperwork to quit and some have already quit. My job, currently is already retardedly stressfull. We all know that. If everyone who knows how to do their job leaves that puts me in a humungously terrible situation. so the question is.. when everyone leaves.. do I stay and stress myself out to the max or do I leave too? From what everyone is saying.. I probably have til june 1st until I need to make a desicion. But believe you/me... my job will suck if they leave.

3. I did some gardening today. yes you heard me right. lol. It was fun. But I am sore now. Sigh. And the funny thing is.. the crazies will get back this week and be like "oh. well." and hate it. I know it. lol. Oh well. Anyhoo. My head feels like it may explode so I'm gonna have a nap. Was supposed to hang out with tis tonight but i bailed. My head feels like there is a balloon expanding in it as we speak.

Until another date..

xxoo

How to make yourself feel better: by Waffleonious.

2007-04-16T19:39:00.000-07:00

THis weekend was horrific. Althought I think I have found a few short tricks to make me feel better.

a) get a new computer. i know. a little expensive. thats why i didn't buy it. but myron baught me a beauty 20" imac. I heart it. It made the first part of the day happy.

b) explain to people why you are upset. i told gary i wasn't upset that he didn't tell me about mike, i was upset becuase he lied to my face.

c) find a boy who will shamelessly make you feel like the queen of the world. this one was easy. steveo messeged me again last night. not only did he want me to come to florida he admited that he has fucked up royally with me and that if he ever gets the chance again he won't let me go. I said I might move to ottawa in november, he said he would follow me and hunt me down and then we could be togehter. we all secretly know this won't happen.. but i really can't help but dream about it right? lol.

d) watch that cleaning show with the two british cleaners. hilarious. your life never seems as bad as those digusting people on the W channel. In fact the one on here right now is so digusting that... well.. she's just gross.

e) talk to amy on the tele on the companys phone bill for 45 minutes. nuff said.

f) do some money counting and decide what you are going to do with it at that time (i am only going to spend money on food and gas for the next 8 months then get a lovely apartment in ottawa/toronto and get a job that will not be as stressful as my current one.)

g) laugh at funny things. because you can.

and those things are things that don't suck today!

xxoo

Maybe I was just being dramatic.. but probably not.

2007-04-15T10:14:00.000-07:00

I don't really know where to start. That last post pretty much summed it up.

The night started out great. We had fun at my house drinking tequila, making ffajitas and listening to gloria estafan.. lol. We took the bus into town which was fun cause it was a double decker! We got to the bar and it all went down hill. I had 8 drinks at the bar... and it wasn't... how do you say.. really drunk? Like.. i was.. but I wasn't because tequila effects you differently? anyways.. we were dancing but just being shoved around and around. Tia spotted a guy she thought was good looking and his friend who was exactly good looking.. so we went up to ask them to dance.. i even asked the ugly guy and he laughed at me. asshole. so we go back to the dance floor and are having a little less fun when I have to go the bathroom. Its crammed packed with girls doing their makeup.. i had excuse myself into the bathroom just to wash my hands. and what did they all do.. look at me like I just puked on them. Needless to say they were all dressed like they were getting ready to get back on their poles. So we go out to do some dancing.. a boy starts dancing with me... fine.. when all of random sudden he grabs my hands and crams them on his dick. like honestly. it was indeed hard as a rock but still.. i was not interested. I tried to get away but tia wasn't getting the message so i turned away from him and he jumped his hands down the back of my pants. I was not having any of that! I slapped him and we left the dance floor. We probably stood around and watched for 30 minutes when I decided to ask another cute boy to dance.. he was like "im drinking right now" all i said was "you could just said no thanks". jackasses.

So I'm not happy. We finally decide to leave as my feet are absolutely murdering me. We go to a pizze joint where I don't know how the tears started but the guy making the pizza was from barrie and one of the customers was from ottawa and there I was balling my eyes out in the pizza shop with the only two people there actually caring we not the person I came with. Yeah know what Tias reaction was? "So go home then. Don't be wimp. Most of my friends go to school in Vancouver I know how it feels". I was like "you have no idea. You can pay the 9 bucks to take the ferry to see them. I live 5 days and over 700 dollars away from EVERYONE I know." and all she could say "whats stopping you. go home then". bitch. i then proceeded to pay the entire cab ride (45$) made her damn bed for her.. and then when I got up this morning.. she had just left the mess (including the couch and blankets) everywhere. Fuck.

So I'll probably come home once I get some moola saved up. I'll probably stay til next November/December but I'll be home for Christmas. Just need to save up some money and rack up the experience at work so I can get a good job when I get back.

In other news? SteveO talked to me last night. He asked me to come out and see him in Florida. Not bloody likely.

Soo now I am going to clean up my messy dungeon, clean up myself and then go for a bike ride into town to get some lunch.

xoo

2:04 AND IT'S CONFIRMED

2007-04-15T02:01:00.000-07:00

i am very drunk. but have cried more today then any othe rday then sin c being here. i hate bc. don't come here. it horrible. i cried and no one cared but the other two people from ontario ( the pizza making guy and a random custoer). in short. i wll be home in time for christmas next year. i will exabd tomooraw.

zzoo more then ever.

Betrayed or just not a confidant?

2007-04-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

I suppose a few things have happened in the last few days that require some thinking.

a) My Indigo Pressman (Mike - drama boy extrodinaire) told myself and my boss that he needed to take a 6 week hiadus because of serious personal problems. I dislike the kid on a personal level, but respect the work he does, and he knows that. I was a little perturbed that he was going to take 6 weeks off, especially when its been so busy, but for personal reason.. one cannot be mad. I've asked everyone if they knew what the personal reasons were. Everyone. Even gary, whom I have come to trust with everything!. No one had any answers, they all claimed to not know. So be it. Then Christina, My Island Art Sales Person, was supposed to have her 3 month review last week and I never got a chance to ask how it went, mostly out of friendliness, but I hadn't seen much of her. Ok, so be it. Last night was our month going on the town with the work crew thing. We always go to the same bar and have too many drinks and a good time. Randomly I over heard that Mike actually took 6 weeks off to take another job because he hated the Indigo press job so much and was planning to not come back. He told everyone but me. No one thought to tell me. If he doesn't come back in.. it'll be more than 2 months before we can find a reasonable replacement and will not be able to keep up with the already piling jobs. Not only was it unfair to do this to me, it was unfair to do this to everyone in the company and the fact that everyone lied to me about it completely mistifies me. ON TOP of that, I asked Gary how Christina review went, just curioius like, and he said he didn't know. Another lie. Apparently she gave her notice. Fucking fantastic.

b) jamie (cute boy from vancouver) is 30. Thats only 8 years, but seriously, I want a man with responsibilites, but not 8 years more than me right now. lol. Im so picky. I know.

c) Going out with Tia tonight. Should hopefully be a good time. Seriously craving some crazy drunken dancing! And possibley a little male attention? lol. Not any of the take home type, even just some random conversation would be healthy! Last night, at the bar we go to.. i just normally wear what i wore to work, being a cute little coral tshirt, jeans and flipflops.. lol.. and this uniquely good looking boy who might've been a bouncer walked by us probably 14 times and on the 14th time just before I left, he walked from one side of the bar to the other starring at my boobs. I watched him the entire way and he didn't notice cause he was looking at my tits. I thought it was hilarious! I laughed out loud! lol. Apparently most of the weight that i've gained back has moved to my boobs. They are huge. Booooo. On another funny note, one of the girls I work with, Galadrial, she's gay. Not exciting I know, but last night one of the bartenders who normally serves us got absolutely shitfaced and randomly started like making out with her but then confessed that she had a boyfriend that she was moving in with next week.. but really it was hilarious. galadrial is such a bump on the log when it comes ot meeting women its so funny when one actually hits on her.

um... yup thats about it for now. I'm going into town in a few to get some groceries and am considering picking up a fish while downtown. Or a snail. lol. Just something I can talk to when i get home eh? lol. Not in a desperate way.. more in a funny.. married to my pets kinda way.. I'm thinking it will be a good way to destress. lol. sigh.

And thats that!

OH. MAIL!. There should be things about to arrive in Chesterville and in Toronot and in Bracebridge any moment now. Meghan.. your may in fact be broken but I hope not. Amy.. yours is funny. Beasey.. you cannot open yours to your birthday. Tada! And I got your "future postcard" today amy.. love it. my bulletin board is just full of letters from you guys.. its nice to look at!

OH. and the other day I saw chickens randomly on the side of the high just walking along in a row and I laughed really hard. I don't know what that says about the stress level of my job but.. lol.. if chickens can crack me up.. maybe i need to destress a little? lol.

miss y'all!!

a good weekend.. and monday for that matter.

2007-04-09T15:24:00.000-07:00

I suppose this weekend was good.. even if I acted like a brat to the crazies. If they are going to treat me like a child.. i can throw a damn good temper tantrum. I know, I know, there is nothing mature about revenge/acting like a 12 year old. But still.. I feel better giving them the silent treatment.

Went out for dinner and drinks with Jennifer on saturday night. She's a pretty cool cat. She's been damn near EVERYwhere. To think, if a girl thats been to every european country can't hack it in victoria.. then I'm not such a huge wimp after all. In anycase.. she's pretty swet.

And then the supremely fun news.. perhaps amy's coming to vancouver after all? I know, I won't get my hopes up. But it would be really neat for me... and for her of course if she came out. Besides.. Stacey is coming to calgary.. so mine as well be inbetween the two of us as per usual right? lol. still.. i'll be happy with whatever she chooses.. after all.. its not like i'm never coming home!

On a side note, Jamie from Vancouver (cute interesting boy) added me on facebook this morning. I now remember more about him. He's kinda cute, I guess and he works for westjet. So there. lol. perhaps I'll venture over to vancouver this weekend? hmmmm?

hurrray! i miss amy! and meghan! and heidi! sigh. ok. i miss everyone. But its getting better out here. for sure.

xxoo

And then the world didn't suck so much?

2007-04-06T17:43:00.000-07:00

I haven't exactly been unhappy over the last few weeks. But I haven't been feeling quite like myself. I don't know what it is, or who it is, or what the solution was, but I feel better now.

Wednesday: I went and got my eyebrows waxed (as per usual) by jennifer. I love the girl. And turns out she loves me too. We're both away from homes/friends/family and are both finding it really hard to meet quality people. So we are going to be each others people and make it a group effort to meet people. lol. So we are going for beer. I also baught a lottery ticket. Just cause right?

Thursday: I check my lottery ticket. I WON. $10. But still. I laughed out loud. Really loud actually. I was so happy! The first time I won! AND then tia called. She's not angry. I'm kinda glad. Its been strange not having strange things happen all the time. So we're going eastering tomorrow.

Eastering involves taking the double decker bus (HURRA) into Victoria and then off to the PETTING ZOO! Is it sad that Im kinda excited? lol. My march says that I should buy another lottery ticket and then sneak up on a large group of people and jump in the air like lottery winners do and have tia take a picture. It would be ridiculously funny. I may even take it as a challenge, see how many times we can do it! lol.

Other good things? I'm going to get a kitten. You heard me. But not a fucked up one like doodle. That cat was fucked. No joke. So.. the idea is I'm going to buy one from a pet store. I know there are lots of kittens at shelters.. but i don't want another fucked up one. lol. And pet store kittens need homes too eh?

Ok team. Until another day!

"We take a life strategies approach" said the Investors Group Brochure I've been working on all day...

2007-04-04T13:01:00.000-07:00

Hurray!

So im not coming home any time soon. I got a lovely new raise and even lovier offer of a new computer/salary benefits and some perks I wanted real bad regarding the make up of the job. (get to remaster the art of fixing a huge big filing mess in the digital aspect. hurra!)

back to saving again for a lovely lovely apartment. im not setting a date this time again tho.. when i find it I find it. that will be that!.

siiiiigh :)

Just shoutin the shit. In english.. not a sexy language at all.

2007-04-03T13:39:00.000-07:00

Ok. So. (said in midly amusing think frenh/enlish accent like on "blowing up the world" flash show on internet)

I was perusing my little blog here, and found myself hilariously stupid. I like it. So I think, self I think, there must be other stupidly funny people out there that write about dumb things like golfing and boys and life in general. So i hit the "random blog" bottom at the top of the screen. 7 times. TO no avail. All i found was Foreign people. Not one speaking english not to mention whitty/funny/amusing/or intelligent. On the eighth click I managed to find a english speaking music writer. But that doesn't interest me. i'd rather just listen to the stuff.

On a side note, i baught a cd at HMV (i know. who buys cds these days? apparently me, I think I am becoming more attached my possessions/surroundings, I like owning things) anyways, the cd was called "Pink Martinis". I looked on the back? And there was song called "in the garden of samson and beasley". how could i not buy it. And i did. And it has turned into a wonderful work/car ride cd. Its french jazz. lol. im so ridicous i make myself laugh. a lot. I recommend it to anyone who just loves random happy jazz with a flare for the foreign even if you don't understand it, and what i mean is, especially if you don't understand it. i can' imagine listening to french jazz would be as compelling if you knew how to speak french. the joy would be lost.

Tonight, I shall go to the range, read my book, then look up some interesting (yet cheap) things I single gal in a big city can do. Amy suggested the museum, which I am sure would be very interesing cause i do like old shit... shit a term that should be used in a funny flirty way in that sentance... however.. i'm thinking like go see a band... join a knitting class? i'll probably go golfing on sunday..hopefully at a course that doesn't stink like i shit on the grass then stepped in it... and hopefully with some joyeous old men that perhaps inthe near future would introduce me to their fabulously artsy fartsy sons. Getting a little ahead of myself I know.

In other high anticipated news.. I am forsure coming home for my birthday. FOR SURE. I working ridonkulous hours as we speak so that I may take this time off paid.. but we shall see about the paid part. Anyhoo. Plan of attack is.. hopefully.. hang out with the olds a little bit, help bease move into her new apartment in london, do the birthday bit in either toronto or ottawa (im giving fair notice..so i expect everyone of you to be there), go to ottawa, visit toronto and then home? eeee. that'll be a busy two weeks for sure. rediculous. but i can't help that i must see everyone! Ok i know I said forsure at the beginning of the paragraph, but alas, i've just thought, if I am coming home at the end of august.. then I probably won't come home for my birthday.lol. we will see i guess.

ok. i have a les cramp in my wrist. more work to be done i suppose.

xxoo waffey

What the hell am I doing with my life! etc.

2007-04-02T11:55:00.000-07:00

Oh my ladies.

You've all been to this point before and I dismissed it as anxiety and just something some people go through (not this someone tho). I apologize now, as I find myself in that situation.

I haven't got the foggiest as to why I moved out here. Plain and simple. Not one good reason. And now, the only good reason I have for staying, is my job. Which by the way is a very compelling reason.

So now, as you all have, I'm researching my options. Go back to school? Change careers? Go overseas? Move home? Move to Ontario? Move to Ottawa? But dear god, what would i do in all of these places? I know I have to make money.

Lets think this through.
If i stay here (at the crazies) until January i can a) save up some cash. b) be able to stay at my job. c) um.. save up some cash.

If i move home.. i have no cash. no job. no home. ok.

so looks like I'll be milling about here til january. sigh.

Disclaimer

2007-04-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

Good morning one and all.

It has come to my attention that perhaps I have said some nasty gossipy things about people on here. I have a statement prepared.

The only thing I am sorry for, is that I didn't say these things in person.

That is all. This is not meant as a form of backstabbing, but it could be constrived as that, so I'm clearing the air. If I have said something nasty about you on here, I'm sorry I didn't get the chance and/or grow the balls to say it to your face first.

xxoo waffey.

My renewed love for golf...

2007-03-27T12:36:00.000-07:00

My farch always said I would grow up one day and remember why I loved golf to begin with. Before all the competing and the pressures. Before practising became a pain and working was all consuming. I now understand why so many men take up the game and like to spend their weekends, or after work hours doing it.

Yesterday I went to the range after work and felt better for it. It was relaxing, fun and it gave me a chance to concentrate on something other then work, my love life or other issues concerning my living situations. It was nice to just go out and hit balls (better than most of the men out there actually) and not have to think.

On the plus side, I met the beautiful boy at the range. We chatted. His name is Sean. He's gorgeous. He thinks I have a nice swing. He wondered if I played for the UVic team. I think he was just flirting. I couldn't play for UVIC if I wanted to. lol.

In anycase, Im wondering. Is golf a good source of exercise? I mean better than the gym.. cause I don't really like to go to the gym, but will go if i must. sigh.

xxoo
waffey.

The night that never was.

2007-03-25T08:40:00.000-07:00

I baught a new outfit. A scandolously mod one. And new heels. I got myself all gussied up. Convinced Tia we needed a repeat of last weekend.. then missed the bus and proceeded to watch movies all night. lol.

It was fine. Cause I got a text messege from Jamie. Jamie being one of the boys that I met at the bar in Vancouver last weekend. The one who cute in a normal way, and had lots in common. He messeged me to ask when I was coming to vancouver next. So i messeged back when he was coming to victoria next. He said whenever I wanted. So i said today. Apparently not, apparently he's in whistler this weekend. suuuure. so i said next weekend. and he said he'd see what he could do.

I hope Im not setting myself up. As far as I remember he was cute and smart and didn't try and pull any skeezey moves on me. Although thats all that I remember. I remember he has a job, but doing what I have no idea. I don't really remember what he looks like, which could be an issue, cause what if he was not as cute as I originally thought? eeeeeee. tia says we should just rent him and his buddies a hotel room and that we if either me or him feel uncomfortable its possible to bow out at any time. I wonder if he would go for that?

hmmm.. the possibilities.

In other news, I went to the range yesterday where I saw the most beautiful boy in the world. He was beautiful. Handsome. THere are words to discribe him. I may in fact go back today. Just to look at him. I will pay the 8 bucks for a bucket of balls if that gives me the right to just look at him. lol

until the next adventures.....
waffey

Here's an idea, stop complaining. Yep. That should about do it.

2007-03-21T15:19:00.000-07:00

This is not a complaint. Just a statement.
I'm les stressed out. And tired. How to combate stress and tiredness? ummmm.. not caring so much about my job... and not going to bed so late. If it was only that easy.

I went to the gym last night. I now remember why I love gym boy so much. Ok love may be a strong word. Why I adore him so much? No... why I am infatuated with him so much? I think the appeal is not actually knowing what he's like. I can day dream that he is sweet and sensitive but will make out like an animal on the dance floor. Maybe he likes to read too. For all I know he could be tres intelligent. I bet he likes Keiths and wings and would think its funny that i always get wings juice all over my face and clothing. It would probably bother him that I can't cook, but I might learn for him. I bet he lives in a house just outside of the victoria, a boyish house. He probably gets up insanely early. I bet his feet stink worse then mine. I wonder if he has a hairy back and or stomach? I don't think I would mind either. He probably wears breifs, he does have a great ass, so he can wear them with maucho confindence. I bet he has a sister, shes younger.

Ok. so thats a little far. I should probably just talk to him and stop daydreaming.

xxoo waffey

You're from where? Oh fuck it. Your hot.

2007-03-18T17:04:00.000-07:00

Wow. Thats how this weekend went.

The fam? They were great. Love my marchie and g-ma. They are two classy ladies. Im sad they are gone tho. Enough about them. lol. No really, they were wonderful, but am relieved to have my bed/life back.

The rest of the weekend? hmmm.. where to start. How bout with tia. The girl has verbal diahrea. She doesn't shut up. Ever. Honest. She will just talk and talk until you leave the room. And its actually normally only about how great she is. How every guy in the bar wanted her (cough) or about something she has done that was so great (cough). Most of it, seeing as I was there, was totally not how things happened. I can handle and exaggerator but not a liar who has a total distorted view of reality. There is a difference. I think the annoying part mostly was that i did not get a word in edgewise at all. Natta.

Friday night. We have a few drinks in our ultra spanky hotel room with redonkulous views. We were on the 25 floor. As the guy in the elevator said "your almost in the penthouse". lol. nearly. It was mint. So anyhoo. We got to his bar called The Royal downtown. Luckily, "downtown" was actually a block from our hotel. wonderbar. ok. so. we get the bar and have a few drinks when tia finds her first conquest; the skinny boy with the plaid shirt and hockey hair. Im not drunk, but good to go on being left alone to dance by myself. The girl hunts him down like prey. Im drinking. She dancing with him so i grab and random boy milling about near the dance floor to dance. Turns out he's hot. And likes to dance with me. We're having a good time when he tries to speak to me. Turns out he's from.. kazakistan? is that a place? but he's not.. i dont how to say it.. um.. ethnic? he's white and gorgeous and hot? lol. I thought he was lying. He had an accent and didn't speak english very well but i still thought he was making it up. You know what I say "are you fucking me?" and then he says "yes, i like to fuck". lol. love it. so i decide to bail on him cause im not into liars. I get a drink and head back to tia where she has since dumped the plaid guy cause she says "he's crazy! he thinks im going home with him!" clearly im going to have to have the "talk" with her....
anyhoo.. so we're sitting near the bar having a drink (or double fisting...) and these two decent boys approach. Randy from California and his buddy jake from north carolina. They seem like nice enough boys. In fact the randy character and i had lots in common.. mostly sports and him trying to impress me.. but still.. lol... we start dancing nicely when kazakistan boy approaches and says "please talk to my friend" and drags me to his friend. He says "listen, but buddy is really from kaΩakistan. he can't speak english very well but said that you were really hot and he wanted to dance with you still". so i tell randy i have to dance with this boy for minute.
Dancing soon turned into hot mad sex on the dance floor. maybe not the penis penetration bit, i sure as left with 4 hickeys, a large bruise on my lips and in need of some clean panties. lol. He was fucking hot. Not a word of a lie. He was strong and built and the accent and his limited words including "hot", "beautiful" and he even said that he liked that i was strong and independant. it was amazing. until he got a text messege from a buddy, i saw it. It said he was at the buffola club cause he got kicked out. so he had to go. i gave him my number just in case. lol.
so while i was busy making out apparently tia found a new conquest and was busy entertaining him... i dunno.. it was weird. so i left her too it. I got another drink and millied about at the bar.. just dancing and drinking when a good looking.. kinda conservative boy came up to me.. he was wearing khakis and a botton down stripped shirt. he was cute. we talked for the rest of the night and he bought me a few drinks.. he wasn't all over me or trying to pick me up (or maybe he was... ) but we had a good time and he was funny and interesting. his name was jamie. i gave him my number before we left. when we got back to the hotel i grabbed my phone and he had already texted me. we texted a few times before bed.
so nuts.

he did text me today.. but it was at 3:30am wondering what I was doing.. lol. funny shit. and that was the weekend.

needless to say.. im exhausted.. decidedly not living with tia.. and glad to be back by myself and in my bed. how silly i was to think i could do a roommate.

xxoo

Where is Aretha when I need her?

2007-03-14T14:27:00.000-07:00

Im thinking Im a little perturbed with the rush/slow game the landlord/old tenant are playing with my beautiful apartment and large breakable heart.
One moment it is a huge rush to get everything in, the next I don't hear anything for days. Im a very impatient girl to be honest. Especially when I want something, mostly I want it that moment.

So I shall call and find out I suppose. I dont want be annoying at all, but to be frank, I want to know so that when I go to vancouver this weekend with my march and g-ma I can buy furniture. gah.

In other news... Im les bored right now.
And that is all, my fingers hurt from the amount of typing i've done today.

oh march...

2007-03-06T10:31:00.000-08:00

Oh happy days.. my march and g-ma are coming tomorrow afternoon! I'm so pumped!
It'll be nice to see both of them. I haven't seen my march for almost 6 months and g-ma for almost 8. Its nuts.

So I guess the plans are.. i still have to work during the week but we are going to Tofino this coming weekend and then vancouver the following weekend. It'll be nice to come home from work and have civilized conversations again. And someone to watch grey's with.

It'll be nice to have my gma out here too. She has never been out here so it'll be a nice holiday. The second time I went to australia she was supposed to come with me, but she had to have surgery on her ulcer of some sorts. not this time!

So, hopefully we'll know this week whether or not we have the apartment or not so that I can take them to see it before we go to vancouver (would be a bonus to hit up IKEA!).

Anyhoo.. thats the news for the moment. Yah!

mmmmmmm

2007-03-04T17:49:00.000-08:00

omg. I've found my love.

In a huge 100 year old building. A few qualities?

1) Beautiful original wood flooring. Kept in mint conidition.
2) Brand new kitchen. (disherwasher, fridge, oven)
3)Totally awesome large black and white checkered ktichen tile flooring.
4) huge walk in closet in master bed.
5) quaint bathroom with new tiles and toliet/sink

Totally affordable if Tia bails on me. The only thing I'm a little dud about is the stairs and parking. Its on the third floor which is swet for the views with the huge windows but not so awesome for walking up and down them due to no elevator. They don't supple parking, but you can get monthly parking down the street and there is free street parking.

Im already designing how Im going to decorate. I can't wait to get it! The girl who is getting rid of her lease pretty much loves me. LOOOZVES me. she even walked me down town to get the application with her two TINY kids. Loves me. So i'm meeting with her tomorrow afternoon to get all the paper work done and then tada! we are short listed to the top three and then she gives these options to the landlord.

Oh i want it so bad!

Sunglasses give me headaches when they rest on top of my head.

2007-03-01T12:55:00.000-08:00

I think my head, may in fact, be one of the large ones that can't wear headbands, sunglasses, real glasses, tight poneytails, hoods, most beanies and some baseballs hats. They good news is, i rarely do any of the above so its alright.

Thats nonsense.

In other more related topics, I've decided I'm not "depressed" in the medical sense of the word. Nore do I think I need therapy in the medical sense of the word. I do however think I need to spend a little less time pretending to be interested in some peoples problems when I should be dealing with my own, and in most cases are fairly easy to deal with but just have been avoided.

I'm ok. As for the two of you, you gotta do what you gotta do. Thats all I gots to say on the topic, that and well thought out about not taking the meds ms. knitter. Im also of that opinion.

As for my current situation (boyless, apartmentless, without bestest friendless) all of these are slowing getting fixed with no hurry or major dramatic scene. There is no plan, things are coming as they are coming. The without bestest friendlessness is the hardest issue for sure but an issue that is slowly but sure fixed with every phone conversation and facebook remark.

Everything is dandy. sigh.

Currently I am waiting in suspense to find out how much of my money the government is going to give back to me. I'm supposed to find out this afternoon so I can go pick up my check. Hopefully it is enough for a first and last and half a months rent and the April first it is. If not, into the savings it goes for May first.

Hurray. On a side note.. who the funk knew buying furniture was so expensive!

xxoo love ya'll. lol

My guts must left me while in the shower.

2007-02-22T20:15:00.000-08:00

I planned it. I know I said I wouldn't, but I did.

I left work. Went for a tan. Went to the grocery store. Went home and showered. Shaved my legs. I even moisturized them for damn sake. I wore my cute little christmas shorts and my extra cute long white sweater. I drove all the way to the gym (which is the entirety of a block away). I even walked in. Walked all the way up the stairs to the weight room. Strode in like I had a purpose; looked around. Spotted him. Lost my breath. Quickly walked out.

I am such a loser. I think I blew that one. Since when is it my style not to get what I want? Especially boys for that matter. You know what the only two word in the history of words that I've said to him? Only towo. Just two. Excuse me. Thats it. I said excuse me. gawd.

so anyways, thats the day. i worked hard all day with hopes of meeting the man of my dreams (or at least a man for the time before dreams) and ended with a sub, greys anatomy and ugly betty. damn.

i think meghans got the idea with the book. Write and see what happens.

decision made. now to install word on this damn mac. bahahaha

SELF Magazine = how much do they really know?

2007-02-21T11:48:00.000-08:00

So last night at the gym (where i did work out and didn't talk to gym boy) i was reading SELF magazine while on the treadmill. It was an article about depression.
Apparently depression isn't something that you necessarily feel sad about. You just feel blah. Most of the time you have headaches, don't sleep well, don't eat well, often feel exhausted and not able to do things you once loved to do.
And then I was thinking about that time I went to the doctor a few summers ago because i was having panic attacks and she said it was a form of depression and that I should go on meds.
I never did take the meds, I think I assumed it was one of those things that I could cure by myself. And what do you know.. i don't have panic attacks anymore. But after reading that article I was a little concerned. I do experience many of the symptoms they state in this article. But I don't think I'm depressed. And even if i was depressed, SELF magazine recommends going on medication to fix it. Here are my quams.

a) Is medication the solution to all of our problems? Isn't there a natural way that one can boost the chemicals in the body to help combat these symptoms?

b) If depression is something that 65% of women combat.. then maybe.. is it possible.. that doctors are blowing it out of proportion?

c)Am I trying to talk my way out of being depressed and taking meds?

Its quite the predicament. I've never thought killing myself was the answer to any problems. I don't cut myself or hate myself. I don't torture myself or feel guilty all of the time. Maybe I'm not an extreme case and am blowing this out of proportion myself. Or maybe I don't have depression at all, even though it does run in our family.

I think thats why I'm thinking about this. My mother has always babied us. Not like done everything for us type babying, but the type where she always wants to make sure our emotions are in check. And now, I've started doing that too. I rationalize my way out of feeling sad, lonely, heartbroken, etc. Is this so I don't throw my self off the deep end. Its worth considering.

Or am I just being positive. Im working on not complaining so much, and only complaining if I know there is a solution to my problem. Im working on doing things that make me happy more and getting exercise for some reason makes me happy. Im working on not hating people, but situations.

Perhaps my newly found positiveness will help combat my depression? Time will tellI suppose. Would any/all of you tell me if you thought I was falling into a deep depression. I would hope so. Who am i to comment on my mental health? lol

Donuts for Diets - the title of my book?

2007-02-20T15:31:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is donut day. It has been announced. I polled everyone on their donut tastes. I did a little dance.

The reason tomorrow is donut day is because today everyone wants to kill everyone. Donuts bring peace to a scary place. Do you think donuts would bring peace in Iraq? Or maybe not just Iraq but the entire middle east? Is it worth a try?

before, like yesterday, i was a fake believer that you work to live not live to work, but today I've decided im a real believer. I love my job, and most of the people I work with, but today I have decided I need more. Im going to go to the gym today (and not to work out, although I probably will anyways, my pants fit better now) to talk to the "gym boy". Im a terrible stalker. I haven't even managed his name yet. I don't really have a plan of attack, but I might have gathered one by the time 5 o'clock rolls around. Although, even the best made plans sometimes suck. So maybe no plan.

And i'm going to join dance again. Although all of these things cost money, but here is my delemia.

Do i save save save and move into a lovely little apartment where I can decorate, bring home boys, cook and feel independant or do i join dance and go out more and meet more people? I think I've answered my own question. I'ma damn near do anything to have my own place right about now.

Anyhoo. So Im going to write a book. A book that is under another name, so that maybe my mother and father won't feel ashamed of me. Thats a terrible thing to do. I know. If im so ashamed of all of the terrible naughty dirty things I've done I really shouldn't write a book. So here's plan B, I'll just loosely write the book about me and insert some crazy fiction so that i can tell my olds that its all fiction. Although that doesn't really seem true to me. I dunno. We'll see.

I know my last blog was very depressing, and to be honest i was in a very depressed state. who isn't after watching the notebook? and in all honesty, sometimes i do feel like that about that boy. and sometimes i don't. mostly just around holidays (vday, christmas day, birthday, anniversary, new years, st. patricks, september.. etc). lol. So basically most of the time. And I think thats where my sense of sexual wildness comes in. Filling a void i suppose (no pun intended. really. get your minds outa the gutter). I don't really want to do that anymore. If the notebook teaches us anything, time is time and its what you make of it, maybe he'll come back to me, and maybe he won't, but pining for him, or settling for everything or anything will not help the situation. so.. onto fuller more meaningful relationships.

wish me luck with gym boy.
and the harliquin romance novel i will soon write (with no romance and whore load of harliquin i might add).

xxoo waffles.

Dear Boy

2007-02-18T18:12:00.000-08:00

Dear Boy;

Wednesday was valentines day. I won't lie. When I woke up in the morning, I was sad. The radio came on, like it does every other week day morning, at 6:45 and I thought "I don't want to listen to all of the happy in love people today." I listened to cd's on the way to work. When I got to work there were chocolates on my desk and I felt angry. I felt angry that they weren't from you. I felt angry that you were probably giving your new girl they same lines, the same wake up kiss, the same necklace, the same smile.

I've thought about you a lot the last couple days. On thursday i wanted to wear your necklace. Would you have known?

Why haven't you come to me? My mother said that when you love someone, truely madly soulmate kind of love, you know it and he knows it and nothing will come between it. I feel that way. All the time. I feel like one morning i'll wake up and you'll be here. Or i'll be there. And everything will be where we left it.

Somenights I like awake with my eyes opened in the dark pretending that we're in your room at your parents house and i'm up against the wall because you always have to sleep on the edge. I look at the clock and hope that your sleeping because you have to get up soon to go to work.

I think about you when I'm getting ready to go to work, I think about our last good byes at the airport when you promised me. absolutely promised me we would see each other again. That that wasn't the end. Sometimes when fuel comes on my ipod i cry and think about your very first letter to me.

Why don't you love me anymore? Why did you find it so easy to fall in love with that other girl. What am I supposed to do. It doesn't matter where I am, or who I'm with and what I am doing. I would give anything to hear you say you love me and miss me. I can't make those words come. We know i've tried. I travelled across the world for you.

And you won't do the same for me. I really haven't got any idea what I'm supposed to do now. Honestly I don't. Its been over 3 years, almost 4 since I've last seen you. I can't get over you. I can't. I've tried. And I can't. I don't now how.

god i miss you.
with love always.

swollen eyes and stuffed up noses will define me for awhile.

2007-01-17T20:35:00.000-08:00

mum and dad put buddy down today.

he had another seizure and the vet said because his brain was bleeding.

i've cried a lot tonight.

its like one of the pains where you didn't actually believe something like that happens.

you don't believe your oldest friend in the world needed to be put down.

they aren't supposed to die. and they most certainly aren't supposed to do it when your not around.

i guess thats all i can really say. i don't think i handle death very well.

victoria is the strangest place in the world. its all backwards.

2007-01-13T09:14:00.000-08:00

but not backwards in the sense that people put their pants on their heads and their shoes on their hands, although if it were on option to live like that.. im sure there would be people who would do it because they would think it was a good idea. its the type of backwards that if you were in ontario and proposed to do things there the way they do things here, people might strip you of your worldly possessions (clothing and personal toothbrush included) and put you into itchy scratch white smocks and say you should take these little green pills four times a day because they will make you think clearer.

Case study #1.
Last evening Tia and I decided to go see a movie. She wanted to see a scary one and I am a baby and wanted to not see a scary one. So we go eat dinner at earls (which subsequently is the most fabulous restuarant ever.. its like milestones but better and hotter men working there) but when we finished it was 7 45... and all of the movies clearly start at 7ish. So we decide to see Children of Men. WHich is fine since Muse is in the commercial and if all else fails that will be the movies redeming quality. But we get there so early that there is like a hour and a bit waiting time before it starts. SO we go in anyways cause its cold outside and the man taking our tickets says "now your here awefully early for this movie so i recommend going to see another one... they've all already started but most of them you can still get the jist of it if you go in now..." So we saw two movies for the price of one. And may I just add that the price of tickets to see a movie here is merely $8. Thats right. So basically we saw two Brand Spanking New Movies for less then if we were to rent 3 year old ones at the gallery down the street! I dare someone to try and do that in Ontario. Your ass will be grass via the security people.

Case study #2.
I live in Victoria, which is on the island. The part of the island that only gets snow for 2 days a year every 10 years. Yes, thats correct, the last time there was snow here it was 1996. Does anyone even remember 1996? Thats pretty much the reason I moved out here. No snow. No cold. No freezing cold days. No more parkas and scarves and mits and jumbo sweaters that don't look like they will fit under your giant parka. Nata. Just rain, which is fine, because its way easier to stay dry when it rains then to stay warm when it snows. So anyways. It snows. For a week. In November. Everyone loses there minds. Business, Schools, Banks, Liquer Stores shut down. People die in car accidents and the power is out for weeks. This, to me and you, is ridiculous. But to Victorian's; the only imaginable way to combat 6 inchs of snow is rubber boots and umbrellas. They all drive like maniacs and kill each other. The radio stations phone lines are clogged with traffic reports and weather reports and no one can talk about anything other then the weather. Its like the whole world and all other forms of topic of conversations have ceased to exisit. WHEN it snows 6 inches in Ontario, everyone is annoyed and goes about their day. People don't die and they certainly don't pull out their rubber boots and ubbrellas. I dare one of you to do that the next time it snows. Rubber boots and umbrellas. You could even put on a rain jacket and scarf and mitts for effect. It would be rather amusing.

anyhoooo.. i'm sure i'll come up with more case studies in the days to come.. since we've had snow the last few days here again and everyone is once again losing their minds. Some jackass drove into a gas station the other morning near my work and blew himself up. Its just stupid. But today Im going to bumm around.. perhaps do some shopping.. and then go "drinking & dancing" with karley. This is what she promises.. but to be frank.. ill believe it when i see it. Most likely it will be me the one stumbling around dancing like a maniac and enjoying myself and it will be her looking down on me like i'm flashing tits to the elderly!

the end.

oh. ps. my job is wonderful. i love it. and it is excellent. miss you all terribly.

waffles.

just one thing.

2007-01-06T13:09:00.000-08:00

or two.

1. we are marshall had me goosebumpy so much that all of the hair on my freshly shaven legs grew back. there were also many tears. of laughter, sorrow, pain and forgiveness. and i think tia and have a terrible afliction, in actualality we are probably afflicting others. we can't sit through 10 minutes of a movie without chatting/talking/laughing out loud/crying or making a scene.

2. the president of my company said he hired me cause im a control freak. the only time some one will ever appreiciate my control freakingness.

3. i love chicken freshly hot fromt the grocery store.

4. now not getting out of bed until tomorra afternoon to do laundry/dinner with the crazies before their trip.

sigh.
xxoo waffles.

I may be 20 years younger than you but my boobs are perky and people like me better then you. so Im the boss.

2007-01-03T21:13:00.000-08:00

Day 2

Im so nervous that I almost dont like it. I hate starting a new job that your not sure you are qualified for. I mean. At the magazine I always thought "im am just wasting my time at this place and not getting paid enough for it" but now I've got what I always thought I could do.. and im scared that Im gonna fuck it up.

Marchie gave me book for christmas. A pocket size failure book. Is that a sign? I mean the book is all about how to look on the bright side of failing. I hope its not a sign. I really don't want to fail. I want to be amazing and I want people to love me and I want to evoke change! I finally have the job of my dreams (cause i only really dreamed of having a job i got paid lots of money to do and that I could sit at a desk and have my own office and wear heels. whichi do.) and i don't want to fuck it up.

sigh. i have to buy more clothes too. i've almost run out of outfits. shit.

anyways. so far so good with the job. have not yet screwed up. sigh. i can't relax. sigh. ok. i'll talk later.

xxoo

The new adventures of old holey.

2007-01-01T17:31:00.000-08:00

I am not going to lie here. I was a terrible terrible friend last night. And thank god was not caught doing it. Well maybe not a terrible terrible friend. I think we were all just too drunk and out of control that a lot of silly bad things happened.

Mk. So first of all, tia and allison and i get ready at my place. We drank 1.5 26ers of vodka and a 26 of sour puss in shots in a hour and a half. We were a little drunk. We were taking the bus into town at 8 to get to the Lucky (the bar) for 9 cause we didnt have tickets. So we took "water bottles" except mine was soooo strong and the other two were too drunk as it was. So i go to open mine and it explodes all over me in the bus. A supremely crowded bus luckily filled with party goers as well. Perfect. We finally get into town find our way to Lucky and they tell us we probably won't get into til after midnight. So shit. So we stumbled to Plan B (another bar) to find the same answer. So by this time we have to pee like nooobodies business. We end up at mcdicks to find the most horrific bathroom. I cried the whole time while peeing. We finally end up at The Social Club. I know. Sounds like some sort 80's flashback Boy George club. Well it suuuure wasn't. Free champaign and appy's. Good music.. and some very hot bartenders. I think we were there the entirety of 5 minutes before i realized i wasn't going to have to wear the balls in this friendships. I tried my damndest to set tia and allison up with boys. I swear to god. They are hot girls.. they just couldn't be spontanious and talk to the boys they thought hot. So I did. Which subsequently ended up with those said boys wanting to make out/dance with me. Can we say awkward? The worst part is... i didn't say no to either. I wasn't trying to be sneaky... it just ended up that way. but tia and allison had no idea. when they were around i found a way to go get a drink or the bathroom or some such.. and then made my way back to the bar to meet a boy for me. But no. Those two boys i set them up with always ended up making their way back to me. Luckily at midnight i had managed to get myself a way and find me a hot bartended to kiss at midnight. Hilarious. So by the end of the night tia is in love with her boy.. allison is too posh to make out with hers.. and i am just plain drunk. lol. Not bad drunk.. but funny-im-talking-to-strangers drunk. Having a good time dancing until Ryan (allison's boy) drags me to the bathroom where he proceeds to push me up against the wall and hardcore makeout with me. And it was hot. He was like "this is really terrible but i don't want her i want you" and he asked for my number to call me today. So i gave it to him. He was hot. I think. At least good lucking in the very least. lol. fuck i don't know.

So the bar was closing at 4... and it was 3... so in order to get a cab we left earliesh. The boys followed us out into the park. Oh it was cute and sucked that I couldnt just make out with him. But oh well. So we start hoooofin it downtown trying to find a cab. What we did find was street meat! The greatest hot dogs of all time. Ever. And two gay men from toronto who were absolutely hilarious. We finally got a cab back to sydney and finally got to bed. But I tell ya.. all this morning all tia could talk about was her boy she met and got his number. I wanted to tell her that I totally made out with him... but thought that might be rude.. secretly i hope she doesn't call him.. that might turn out bad if he's actually not interested. anyhooo...

and i suppose the end of the story is.. i've spend the entire day on the couch.. pulled out into the bed. lol. What a great day.

I start the new job tomoora. I got my letter of employement which states my position as a midlevel management position as a pre press specialist. awesome. aaaaaaahhhh so nervous.

xxoo waffey.

the fight that was one sided.

2006-12-26T21:13:00.000-08:00

I suppose you all remember that girl from high school that set me up with Jarrrett (the creepass with the bad sandles and weird friends) then subsequently Chris (who turned out to be a bad person in general) and then subsequently Karley (who happens to take my friendship for granted and is a little messed up in the head). Her name was katie slater just in case you forgot. anyways. the last few weeks she has been messeging me nonstop. but i never replied.. cause i really just didn't want to listen to her moan about bracebridge and how lame it is and such. well tonight..i did answer. The moment she started moaning i said "slater. i find it hard to take you seriously when you say you hate BB so much.. cause you're still there. and have been there for the past three years without even considering leaving". and this is what insued. I'll give my synopsis at the end. i would like to say in my defense however.. that i really wasn't mad. or annoyed for that matter. it was like i wasn't really paying attention cause i knew she was a loser and that i don't really believe anything she says till it happens. so anyways.. heres the convo.

To: katieslater@hotmail.com
Start Time: 8:44:35 PM; End Time: 9:13:31 PM

katers says: doesnt make snse for me to move right now and waste money on rent and shit when im trying to save to go back to school

katers says: its called common sense

Waffey... says: sure. common sense.

katers says: and its really none of your business

katers says: i didnt spend my time chasing boys around australia or working at shoppers drug mart

Waffey... : haha. at least i had balls to do things that i had a passion for.

katers says: and your living with your aunt and uncle there

katers says: like what ????

katers says: moving to work at shoppers drug mart

katers says: and live wiht your aunt and uncle

Waffey... : lol. your getting carried away. everyone has to start somewhere.. at least i've started. am getting my apartment in april. have my new job. own my own car... thats more than i can say for you.

katers says: im a physio assistant

katers says: i went to school and did something i loved

katers says: im working on writing songs

katers says: and doing art right now

katers says: this summer i did the east and west coast to see things and have some fun

katers says: im going back to school in sept to get my physio degree

Waffey... : mk.

katers says: maybe you should pull your head outta your ass dude

katers says: and mind your own fucken business

katers says: and realize that your life isnt so hot

katers says: did u even finish school ?

Waffey... : yeah know what. i am really really happy with my life right now. and i do think its pretty hot. im sorry that your life isn't. im just tired.. and have been tired.. of your moaning over.. um.. forever. honestly.. we weren't that great of friends in high school.. i just don't know why we continue you this.

Waffey... : and yes i have a degree in advertising and design.

katers says: just took u a bit longer to get it done eh

katers says: ya and your right

katers says: i always thought u were a cunt in hs too

katers says: so i dont understand why i am wasting my time in this conversation

Waffey... : nice language.

katers says: or why i ever was nice enough to give the guys your number to show u around vic

katers says: ill catch up with you in maybe ten years or so

katers says: and well see how things balance out then

katers says: :)

katers says: im really happy wiht my life

katers says: things are going great

katers says: just waiting for the next step to startup

Waffey... : please don't. i couldn't handle more moaning.

katers says: haha

katers says: just like listening to u fucken crying n hs all the time

katers says: about stan

katers says: or about brad

Waffey... : haha.

katers says: every day

katers says: anyways

katers says: good luck in life

katers says: and goodbye

Waffey... : well that i know is bullshit.. cause i don't think we ever had those convos.

Waffey... : dido.

katers says: oh we did

katers says: about brad

Waffey... : haha. well.. thats high school right? some of us have moved on...

katers says: some of us

katers says: have learned to not be petty bitches and criticize people we know nothing about

katers says: u on the other hand

katers says: obviously havent

Waffey... : i don't want to get into name calling... it is what it is.

katers says: ya well u were pretty mucht he one that started shitting on me here dear

katers says: criticizing what im doing

katers says: and its really none of your business

katers says: especially when your situation isnt great itself

katers says: when i used to come into shoppers when i was working in my field and u were working

katers says: i didnt think any less of u

katers says: shoppers was your stepping stone to get to where you wanted to be

katers says: i respected that

katers says: i on the other hand have worked in my field

katers says: and am now in a stepping stone til my next place i want to be

Waffey..: lol. you didn't respect it 10 minutes ago. besides up until i left for here.. i worked in my field too. i was working part time at shoppers and full time at the Osprey media.

Waffey... : but.. thats in the past.. and now im on to bigger and better things.. i hope you do to eventually.

katers says: i did respect it

katers says: until u started telling me u didnt respect me for what i was doing

katers says: Im going to get my physio degree in sept

katers says: im playing tons of sports right now

katers says: im doing paintings for people for money

katers says: im working on a demo for music

katers says: im seeing someone amazing

katers says: im really happy with how things are right now

Waffey... : mk.

katers says: what i dont need in my life is negativity

katers says: yes i have been having a hard time finding a job the last few months

katers says: but im doing things that make me happy and that are making me a more well rounded person

katers says: and maybe moving out west was good for u

katers says: but it wasnt the right thing for me to do

Waffey... : mk.

katers says: if it makes u happy and u feel like your in the right place holly

katers says: then gret

katers says: im happy for you

katers says: but u really really really should think about making judgements and assumptions on things u dont really know anything about

katers says: and if u really want to know why im at home

katers says: u should ask

katers says: cause im not one to run out and tell people why

Waffey... : mk.

katers says: mk

katers says: later

katers says: good luck

Waffey... : ciao

katers says: wish u only the best with the new job and stuff

katers says: cause im not one to shit on people and judge you for what your doing

There you have it. Sure did escalate fast eh? First of all. At the beginning.. I wasn't out for name calling and comparing lives.. I just wanted to say "i don't want to hear your complaining. If its so bad do something about it". And maybe it did look like I was being a pompous ass.. but to be honest.. she just went of the deep end and I wasn't about to jump in the sinking ship with her. Obviously she isn't comfortable where she is if she needs to defend herself so... hartily. if thats a word. i couldn't believe her language tho. I suppose i learned to fight pompous like from milly.. he always fought like that with me. Well.. its a good thing. because shes a crazy nut job.. and i wouldn't be sad to not talk to her again. the "friends" she introduced me to no longer speak to her anyways cause shes crazy.. i tell ya.. there was a lot of nasty things i could blurted out at her.. but i have more decentcy.. i'd like to think. i just didn't want to listen to the moaning anymore.

anyho. thats the excitement of my day. work tomorra at the mart that im proud to say is not my career no matter what she things. then thursday is my shopping day.. then friday im working then tia and allison and i are gonna go dancing.. i have the weekend off.. then we're going out new years into town.. then.. start the job on tuesday! sigh. everything is great. although i will admit.. it wouldn't be a new years without finch/a wedding reception/milly/too much drinking/rushy/amy or boardgames and cards with heidi and my parents.

miss you all terribly. but am positive i will see you all eventually again. some sooner than later i suspect!

xxoo waffey.

the most weird/sad christmas ever. or at least ever in my life.

2006-12-25T22:59:00.000-08:00

today was christmas. and it was sad. i shed a tear. everything was wrong and not right or normal. nothing was traditional or usual. nothing was my family and my room and my living room and our routine. everything was... wrong.

i suppose the crazies tried to do things right. there was stocking and presents and breakfast. but its not with my family. and then there were the even crazier friends of crazies that came for dinner. it wasn't fun. it wasn't good. the stuffing was disgusting and there was no apple pie.

i don't want to say it was the worst christmas ever, because obviously there are a lot of people with worse christmas's then me, but it wasn't a good christmas without my family.

miss you all very much.
xxoo

Chirstmas Eve is here. I suppose.

2006-12-24T13:15:00.000-08:00

Well the last few weeks have been.... anxious... i guess is the right term.

Im almost done at shoppers.. which is really good. Im so tired of them... and the drama and the mindless work. Im tired of the shifts and the crappy jobs and never actually accomplishing things. Im tired of the old people and the cranky staff and not not having a steady schedule. More or less I am just excited to start something new.

Im anxious for christmas to be over as well. I never remember putting so much emphasis on christmas before.. but now that im a little older I guess and have decided to stay out here.. i guess its a bit of worry when I'll see my parrents and sister again. I'll be it.. i'll see march and gramma fay in march and lindsay in may.. but when will i see dad? and amy? and heidi and meghan and everyone? i dunno.. is this a part of growing up and growing out? if so.. im not sure i like it. i now see why farchie cried at the airport.

another anxious moment would be about getting out of this god forsaken house. its terrible. not only do the crazies drive me nuts... apparently they have been listening in on my phone calls. half heartedly i hope they heard that I call them the crazies. I don't know why they don't get the point. they interfere with my car.. my laundry.. my heat.. my windows.. my mail.. everything. Ever chance linda gets she puts her input in. if its unwanted. i was thinking i should go upstairs and be socialable with them since it is christmas eve.. but i don't want to have to face them and ask them why they fucked with my car AGAIN and the license plates. none of that was asked of them. i don't care if its a "nice thing they thought they'd do for me" them important point is; is that its my property.. my decisions.. my life and I don't need another set of parents. at least they could have asked me about it. instead of just doing what they thought is best. im really perturbed. That and they said they would make me a stocking.. so being the nice person i am.. i've made one for each of them as well.. but to be honest... i think its just a nicety cause they are related.

anyways.. tia and i have started the looking for a place which im so excited about... yeah for all the beautiful awesome furishing stores here.

thats all for now. looks like i should go up and have a chat. funk.

Lucy... you got some splainin to do!

2006-12-17T09:11:00.000-08:00

I know.. i know.. its been like almost three weeks since i've written on here. It just means I have an enormous amount of nonsense to say in one blog. Sean, you are not going to like this! Be warned!

Ok. So staff Christmas Party. Well... it wasn't really a party so much as a dinner. A hardcore expensive dinner. That we didn't have to pay for, but mine as well have cause I think our drinks ended up costing as much as the meal. lol. We got all dahled up in our heels and grown up bags and went to the fancy restaurant over looking the ocean... tia and i only thought it appropriate to sip martini's. emphasis on the martini(s). There were champagn ones, chocolate ones, apple ones, raspberry ones, hypnotic ones. There was one of every flavour. Anyhoo.. we all chipped in some money to donate to the food bank and then our names got entered into a draw for a 10lb Toblerone Bar. Thats right. You heard me. 10 Pounds! Have you got any idea how large a 10 pound toberlone bar is? Its like a log. A log of chocolate and nouget. On the walk back to my place we had to switch up ever 50 metres or so carrying the damn thing. It was huge. So we get back to my place and it looks like a bomb went off. Seriously, I was embarrassed how messy I thought it was. Tia didn't seemed phased, but I was mortified. We sat and watched Black and White soundless movies then she went home. And i sat and starred at my chocolate log.

So onward and up ward right? Last weekend we went bowling and christmas shopping and adventuring. It was fun. Its almost creepy has funny it is. I think I've already mentioned this, but we're moving in together in April.. which I'm pumped about.. and apparently so is she. But I tell ya, last night we had a food and movie night ( i say food and movie night cause we devoured a large bbq chicken pizza, a tub of rolo ice cream an entire 2L bottle of sprite and half a bag of salt and pepper chips) at her house and I tell ya.. my little suite here was damn near spotless in comparison. AND HER ROOM! If a bomb went off in mine, hiroshema musta taken place in heres. There was nonsense EVERYWHERE! I laughed so hard, which probably wasn't polite but she laughed too cause apparently we are the messiest people alive, but we made the executive desicion that we can have as messy bedrooms as we please, but kitchen, bathroom (s) and living areas must be neat and fashionable. lol. we watched the Lake House last night, and Im not going to lie to you... that movie made no sense. at all. I was a little annoyed.

The Devil Wears Prada. Now. As much as I love all the camio's and gorgeous clothing and runways nonsense and magazine talk of this movie, I am completely and alarmingly annoyed by the lesson trying to be taught. First of all.. they really didn't make the lesson seem very convincing. Anne Hathaway could have easily said to that moppy head boy of hers "fuck right off.. I look hot and have a very powerful career AND i get to go to fashion week AND i have a much hotter and older fashion hot guy wanting my newly hot sexy body!" But instead she choose some gross old newspaper job where she gets to write gross little stories. No more high fashion for her. Idiot. SECOND of all. Who the funk moves to New York and gets an amazing job like that and then quits cause her boyfriend doesn't see her as much? Hmm? And that friend of hers is an ungrateful wench to judge her on a job that actually got here a moundfull of swag! I'll say this once. If any of you EVER quit a job that you love or even like because a boy is annoyed that you don't spend as much time with him.... I don't think we can be friends anymore.

I am definately of the opinion that women should be able to have wonderfully amazing and high powered careers JUST LIKE MEN and still be able to have the family life JUST LIKE MEN. If he loves you like he says he will.. he will learn how to have dinner ready on the table when you get home.

Dirty Magnets. I think I'm going to make a group decision. Everytime one sends a letter to and fro from bc to ontario, there must be a magnet included. Magnets are fun and not expensive and can fit into regular mail and make a good pick me up. Like the one amy sent me. Amazing. I will put it on my filing cabinet at work. End of discussion.

Have I mentioned how pumped I am about the new job? T-Minus 15 days!! Yeah! I can't wait to buy big girl clothes and big girl furniture and such. too excited. And the new apartment! YAAAAH! Marchie is giving me money to spend on furniture and such cause i am NOT accepting hand me downs from the crazies. Unless its a tv. that i don't say no too. YAAHAHAH!

mind you thats.. what? 3 months away. sigh. anyways. thats all i want to say for now. im les tired of writing. i'll try and continue later on today.

waffey

Adventures in Raw Fish.

2006-12-06T13:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday.. i worked all day. And remembered why I hate it so much. The whole day I thought about how I could maime my self so that I didn't have to work at shoppers anymore. there were the loss of limbs, breaking of bones, vehicular pain, accidents, and straight out lying. i really really don't want to work there all christmas. not even a little. if i wasn't so far behind on my savings goals i would so quite again. quite frankly i still might. like the weekend before christmas.

anyjooo... i also went out for sushi last night with tia. i heart bbq eel. it is soooo good. i had almost one of everything. almost. turns out rice is really really filling. who knew.

so today I am staying in bed all day. if i don't go anywhere i can't spend money right? well.. i will go to the gym after dinner, after all that is peek boy ooogling time. i need myself a man toy. thats final.

ciao babas
waffles.

Listen Lady, Im just tellin ya what I heard on Maury.

2006-12-02T22:16:00.000-08:00

Wow. I wish you all could have been here for the shit show i just witnessed. I'd like to say there were bear bongs and pukers and writing on people with permanent markers, but no. 7 bottles of wine, half a deli counter and too much chocolate mixed with 8 seniors (men/woman over the age of 60).

There was this woman. Dale. This woman was the elderly version of Katie Izzard. Minus all the vagina comments. No joke. She had to be right. All the time. She had to talk the loudest. All the time. She had to be the funniest. All the time. I nearly kicked her and said "team, remember that time we drank outside your apartment cause we were locked out?" and then thought better of it. I was so annoyed with her to the point that as some time or another she said her "friends" were all tired of the BC health system that they were getting all of their surgeries done in mexico. I laughed and said "eww thats sketch, haven't you heard the horror stories of people going down there for a face lift and coming back with their eyes sewn shut?".. really, i heard that on maury and decided it could be a fact. maybe. I thought it was funny. Until she went on a TIRADE about how canada's health system is worse and that if you live more than an hour away from any major city you mine as well die where you stand cause if you get into an accident you won't get to a hospital in time. I think she spit on me half a dozen times during this tyrade,, and she was across the ROOOM not the table. Dear Lord. It was a shit show.

As for today, would I be a terrible terrible person if i tried to get fired? I mean.. so I don't have to work at Shoppers all christmas long? cause I hate it and for the life of me can't remember why I said I'd stay until after christmas. ogh. right. i remember. i was staying so i could ignore this holiday everyone calls christmas. seems that will be a difficult due to the fact that all the music that is played from october to Jan 1 is christmas music. I probably had 17 people wish me a merry christmas and shit today. fuck them and their happy all in one province families. fuck them all.

im not bitter. just tired. i had the hebejebes last night. didn't sleep well. took some gravol. hope that helps. miss you all terribly. so bad that i think im giving myself hives.

xxoo waffey.

I made her cry. In a good way!

2006-12-01T15:06:00.000-08:00

So today/yesterday have been very emotional. I mean VERY emotional. I got all my hopes up about coming home... and now I'm not. Im sorry to everyone. I got everyone's hopes up. We (me and my marchie) just can't afford the ticket. The good news is however that marchie can't afford the ticket cause she is coming out here in March and then sending Beasely out May 1st for her birthday. But shhhhh.. she doesn't know it yet.

As for good news, I start my new Job January 2nd, which means I can still work through christmas and pretend like its not happening at Shoppers. Which means I can make some mad cash and save for holiday in july to edmonton/calgary! Plus for my new apartment in April. This kid WILL be moving April First. And it WILL be to somewhere spanky!

:) so good news and bad news. saving money is always good. i have some bills to pay off so a plane ticket just isn't in the cards right now. ooooh well. so i'll be sending christmas cheer out monday.

bad news tho amy.. i couldn't get the purse i wanted for you just right now.. but you will get it. eventually!!!

xxoo waffles.

Little people can have TNA bags too.

2006-11-29T21:22:00.000-08:00

Ok. long stories. i refuse to let this habit die due to the fact (and its a fact because its the truth) writing in here helps me relieve some of the tension of not having you all here to talk to whenever i feel like (however our mutual brain waves for phone calls today was creepy and a little helpful).

So Brock and Emily are getting married and i feel very happy about it. Because if Emily, who is fun and honest and opinionated and geniune, still loves Brock for all that he is, it must mean that Im not such a terrible judge in character and that all of those people that harbor hatred for him and douche bags. That and I get to be invited to the wedding. And that my friend makes me happy to know it will be a glame event that i can dance and drink and see seany b and amy and laura and brock and emily in the same place and hopefully relive the fun held at the last ad christmas party. its a shame that Craig (the baldheaded nicest boy around) is currently involved with a creepy girl from loyalist. Some times i think i messed up by not trying to make it work with him and then i remember the way he said "do you wanna get fucked" the first *and only* time we had sex. it was scary and a huge turn off. aaaaanyways....

my interview went so well. Ryan, the Art Director for both companies, said if it was up to him he would hire me right now but he had to let myron know and he would call me. I assumed today. I apparently not. Anyways, so the extra good news is that if (and when) I get this job is that i'll hopefully have two weeks (if not one) off for christmas. The extra good news is that my marchie says that she will pay for half of my plane ticket to come home!!! YAAAAH!! I can't even explain how happy i feel about it! Except to say that i'll be sad not to have my car because I won't be able to drive anywhere.. it'll be the train/bus for me.. but believe you me.. there will be an obscene amount of bus/train riding to toronto/ottawa.

anyways. i will be huging my cell for the next.. however long it takes for MyRon to call me. yaaaaarg.

anyhoo. must sleep. another sleepless night. not sure what time i have to work tomorra.. so im just gonna go in til 9 and work til when im supposta... at least that way i can say i wanted to make up for the hours i missed today by being "sick". and then i'll quit. oh im so evil.

xxoo
waffey

"Only two things are forever. Diamonds and Stink Bottom"

2006-11-28T22:05:00.000-08:00

Stink Bottom. Muffy. Muffus Puffus. Stink Face. Cable layer. Doodie? Bud. Buddikins. Bunny. It doesn't matter what his name is. He's dying. My kitty is dying. He may be 16 years old. And he may be over 15 pds. But pets are supposed to live forever. aren't they? Marchie says he's having seizures and he twitches and pees on the floor and loses control of his body and then lies under the chair all day. beasely is going home this weekend to say goodbye. they are taking him to the vet next week and farch says there will probably not be anything they can do but put him down. Farchie says it wouldn't be right to let him suffer. He is not a happy cat anymore. I wish i could be there. Muffus is my oldest friend. funny how i've know this for two days and just now im crying.

my second interview is now tomorrow. too much snow on monday. everyone lost their minds. rubber boots and umbrellas were their defense. i don't really wanna talk about it right now.

where does one go to meet people who will hug them because they look sad?

Interviews, men with packages, and gas.

2006-11-26T22:14:00.000-08:00

Well. Where do I start.

Friday: Friday I went to a "Fundraiser" for the Synchro Club. Thats right. When I say Synchro Club I mean the club that has synchronized swimming listed as their main activity. Karley says we are getting the tickets from a boy. Therefore one would suspect said boy was a synchronized swimmer. Therefore thinking he would wear skimpy bathing suits as a hobby THEREFORE being really fit and hot. Boy was I wrong.

a) there were no boys in skimmy bathing suits.
b) there were no boys that were synchronized swimmers.
c) there were no hot OR fit boys.

Instead, there were a lot of asian girls and boys. They were ALL size 2's and wearing sadly hip-like clothing and danced badly. Infact I think I was part of two minorities: the caucasion variety, and the people who weigh more than their shoes. It was a terrible terrible night full of asian girls, no english, bad dancing and karley wanting me to constantly entertain her. It was exhausting and I didn't have nearly enough to drink. AND Karley felt the need to point out every ridiculous sight she saw and say "that was you last weekend". What does one do when that is said? Especially when you know thats how you were, you had fun doing it, and wish you were doing it now? I did the shocked and embarrassed move so hopefully she wouldn't ever ask me to come out with her again. Tada.

Saturday: First my lock was frozen. Then there was an eight car pileup on the highway. As it turns out, the entirity of this island loses their mind when there is a little bit of weather. I mean there were people driving the wrong way, people driving in the medians, people gawking, turning around, the whole shebang. So I got home at 9 and had to be at work for 9:30. What do i do? You know it. Call in to say Im going to be late and instead of showering i go to mcdonalds for a borito breakfast. I tell ya Im one class act. I then proceed to die the entire day due to delayed hangover sydrome which apparently even happens when you dont get drunk. BUT then I had a wonderful evening.

Tia and I went to see the Alberta Dance Company's The Nutcracker and we dressed up and wore heels and and silk skirts. It was great. Men in tights. mmmmm. Pretty dresses. mmmmm. Eggnog with Rum from hot bartender. mmmmmmmmmmmm. And then we went to Boston Pizza for dinner and learned with astonishment that Boston Pizza in BC can no longer have Fish Bowl Fridays due to a pending lawsuite against the size of the drinks. It was sad, there were tears. But we laughed and had a hilarious times. She brough tiny opera binoculars to the ballet so we could get better looks at their packages. cough. foot work. Anyways. It was wonderful until i got stomach ripping, intestine burning gas. Thats right. I thought I was going to die with my entrials... entrailing. And then i was fine. Who knew Gas X was so great. I never leave home without it.

And here you fing me. Well rested on Sunday evening after a meal with the crazies of meatloaf and beets. My second interview is tomorra. Which is nerve racking because they want me to demonstrate why I am so awesome. I hope I look hot at least. The Art Directors Name which i will be seeing is Ryan. I hope he is young and wants to marry me so I don't have to do anything hard. sigh. neeeervous.

it snowed all day. thats all Im going to say on the matter. fuck.

I was about to say when I had a sudden desire to poop.

2006-11-22T15:34:00.000-08:00

Well I had my interview today! It was absolutely great. And to think, I was nervous that I wasn't going to be good enough. Silly me. Well it went great. So as it turns out I applied to be a design assistant and myron (yes thats his name) decided that I would be better suited as a pre press technician even though I've never managed a printing press not to mention printed on canvas!
So yeah. My job would be to manage EVERYthing that comes into the company, prepare it, secure it and proof it, send it to the desired locations, receive them back proof and send to clients, image correction and printing, designing and typograhy and all the prepress work. Its fucking nuts. So much responsibility. Enough that I even get my own office! Fucking nuts! I love it! So I'll know by friday if I got it or not. I can't wait. This girl if going shopping for big girl clothes this weekend if she gets this job!!.

Thats all i feel like typing now. OH. and I can't wait for the mail to come!
xxoo

12.5 great things about living by myself

2006-11-20T18:27:00.000-08:00

1. I can sit in my work clothes all evening and even sleep if them if i please because no one would know unless i told them. not that happens.. just sayin.

2. I can drink milk/apple juice/wine right outa the bottle when ever i feel like it.. i don't even have to be sneaky.

3. I can get dressed in the living room while watch breakfast television.

4. Not doing my dishes for 4 days isn't a crime.

5. there are clothes everywhere.

6. I can dance around and sing and be silly without nasty glares or comments to quiet down.

7. I can just pretend not to be here by not answering the phone and msn and no one will know the difference.

8. I don't have to comprimise over the tv schedule.

9. no one here to distract me from work.

10. i can sit around in my robe all day.

11. I can watch smutty shows on tv without being self concious about people hearing me. not that i do.

12. I don't have to listen to music/talking/crying or sex from the roomie.

12.5 All of these things only count when the crazies aren't bugging me.

In other news. Im broken. All of my muscles and inerds hurt due to malibu and dancing. But do not fret, they say the more you where heels the easier they get.. and i love my heels. Just maybe not dancing for a while. LOL.

Hope you liked your gift maddam! I'll talk to you later.

xxoo
waffey.

Oh these dancing feet of mine hurt! Real BAD!

2006-11-19T14:53:00.000-08:00

Sigh. Well I made the best of last night. I think you all would be proud. Or at least you would have laughed along with me and had a wildly good time too.

So yesterday I went shopping and baught a cute little jean skirt (a size 11 might i add) a pear of gorgeously hot heels and a $34 can of hairspray. I'll go into detail about the hairspray in a minute. And then tottled home to get ready to go to karley's as we had plans to meet at 6 and go to dinner and dancing. Well 6 comes and go a no phone call. So I call her. She's at Chris's house. Apparently they have to talk. So we finally meet up after 7 and thats when i hear this little tune;

for the past two weeks Karley has been sleeping over at Chris's house. She is in love with him and he is in love with her. Thats all fine and dandy except that she is refusing to date him because his roommate who is kinda her friend likes him. That right. She will sleepover in his bed (saying they don't do anything.. but I know what happens in that bed.. I don't call it The Gordon Head International House of Sausage for nothing) but not date him. And she is mad that she can't date him. I just told her to make up her mind cause she can't have it both ways. You can't lead a guy on, sleep in his bed, spend every waking moment with him and then in the next breath refuse to go out with him when you know that he is in love with you. All or nothing.

So anyways, she doesn't drink. Which one normally says thats fine, but to be frank, it plain sucks when the girl turns out to be uber conservative. I just wanted to dance. I don't care who it was with or home many people it was with. Its just dancing. Its not like I was sleeping with them, not to mention making out with them. But to her.. I looked like a major slut. She was actually looking at me with a distasteful look. Believe you me, I've done way worst things then dance with a few boys. I had a great time. I met a few nice one and a few creepy ones. At the end of the night these two guys approached me and were like "we noticed you standing over here looking tired and thought that if you wanted you should come out to Hush tomorra night. Its like a rave scene". Karley was like "i don't think so, I have school". But not me, this character was like "Thanks! Thats sounds awesome, I might check it out". The girl has no social skills. We then proceeded to walk 12,000 blocks to a 7/11. Thats right. They have 7/11's everywhere here! Where there was a small gathering of bar people. I struck up a conversation with one about smart food and then all of a sudden he was getting thrown out of the store on his ass with popcorn in hand unpaid for. Being the good person I believe he was he handed the popcorn to me to put it back on the shelf. He was cute. We then proceeded to walk 14,998 more blocks where we hailed a cab. Which was just in the nic of time because although i was heavily drunk, my shoes were absolutely killing me. I couldn't even get them back on this morning. They are completely and utterly swollen and fat and throbby. They hurt.

To top this terrible story off, i felt like a fuck and run today cause i got up at 8:30 and grabbed my stuff and left. No note, no number no telling karley, natta. lol. It might have been rude, yes, but i'm beginning to see that although some people are nice and friendly, it doesn't mean you should go drinking and dancing with them. Some people aren't meant for drinking and dancing and that is not there fault. And to be honest Im a little sick of chris and his drama. I'd just prefer to forget about him.

Tada. Over and out! Ps. Im excited for the mail!! And I think you should see happy feet. It will prove my man eating peguin thoughts. miss you heaps and heaps and glad you weekend with your marchie was a good one!

xxoo waffey.

You can mumble all you want.. but only cause you can tap dance.

2006-11-18T08:57:00.000-08:00

Good morning!

Yesterday was a wonderfully fabulous day when it comes to moving on and moving up. First of all, I got an interview with Myron at Island Art Publishing. Silly me forgot to find out what the company does and figure this one out; They are art dealers who produce brochures, advertising and catalgues for Artists. If thats not cool I don't know what is! However, its not a magazine, but think of the experience! And the fact that I'll be back in the publishing industry! Sigh. I am one happy duck. However, I feel bad for having to quit at Shoppers this time of year. I think I am being depended on. That is a nice yet terrible feeling. My Marchie says that one has to do what one has to do, but always do it responsibly. So I must give my two weeks notice, but that is sad. sigh.

After work I then went out to dinner and a movie with Tia (heidi with blond hair). We had mexican in the funniest weirdest like mexican restaurant ever. I don't know these adjectives as facts as I have never been to a mexican restuarant. But it was funny. I liked it. The food was actually quite good. I think i had some sort of deep fried beans and meat borito thingy. With more beans and rice bit. Good.

We then went to see Happy Feet. You know, the one with the peguins! I thought it was very amusing. I have seen better animated movies, but this ones redeaming qualitites would have to have been the choreographed peguin dancing, the musical interludes and the big snotty elephant seals. No joke, there was snot involved. A recommended see, but only if you rent it or go to a supremely cheap theatre. The theatre here in Sidney is the funniest like theatre in the history of theatres. They have a couches in it. And when they have birthday parties they let the birthday person turn the movie on! Love it.

And that was the end. A good day. Tomorra shoud be busy. FInish up porfolio, find outfit to wear out tonight, go to gym and heading out dancing with karley. note to self. drink ones self into oblivion before going out. done.

waffey.
xxoo

i heart gospel and alex karev.

2006-11-16T20:56:00.000-08:00

Today was kinda rough. Any normal person would just have done what needed to be done. But not this one. This one cried over things like the woman not being able to help me, the man not being about to send my letter out today and the woman not listening to me when i tell her what i need. You know why I cried? Because I was overwhelmed because my marchie couldn't fix it. Even Seany B said it. Relax. Go to bed. You can do it. Sigh. I did however leave work early and eat pizza and drink pear/grape juice watch the oc and greys and now i feel like myself again. That idealistic organized girl I know I am.

And then this afternoon when i got home from work the newspaper was on my doorstep folded open to the classifieds with one highlighted. Design Assistant Wanted for Publishing House. It mine as well said "Yo Waffey, are you wearing your big girl panties and coming to work or what?". So i applied right then and there. I feel excited and happy.

Other new and exciting things? I was nice to Cher today, even if she didn't deserve it, want it or warrent it. I made the effort.

Um.. the crazies were in my living room day. Do you know this? My floor is clean. Vaccuumed I think. I wonder what else they were in.

ps. i sent birthday present #1 today. The lady at the post office said she was sad to put brown paper of it. The boy at starbucks said it was the longest card note he'd ever seen and that he needed his pen back with ink in it. I even rushed it so I could call you on thursday and see how much you like it!

xxoo
waffey.

In the whole big scheme of things... ELLE magazine knows whats what.

2006-11-15T21:49:00.000-08:00

Three things I learned today;

1. When getting ones eyebrows waxed ask for hard wax. Way less painful.

2. When dealing with insurance companies that have employees from other countries where english isn't their first language, don't call from a busy starbucks on your cell phone. It makes them even harder to understand.

3. When dealing with people who have an undfounded hatred for you, try never to play their game back. Unfounded soon becomes founded.

One Brave Thing I did today;

I wrote my name and my phone number down on a slip of paper and tucked it inside my pants so that when I saw my gym inspiration today I would give it to him. Alas, he wasn't there and now all I have is a stinky sweaty phone number. My phone number.

One funny thing I did today;

I wore my sweater zippered right up to the neck, parked at the furthest parking spot from the gym and then proceeded to skip all the way to the bulding singing "no one wants to fight me like you do.. do do do. do do do. do do do. combat baaaby. combat baby. etc".

One thing that made me sad today;

I saw a gianormous snow man made of lights. So much for christmas.

Four thing that makes me happy for the future;

1. Seeing Happy Feet with Tia on Friday.

2. Dancing with Karley on Saturday

3. Shopping with Karley on Sunday.

4. Amy coming to visit in May.

And onwards and upwards to the dishes I go. Turns out im pretty messy for only being here a couple hours a day. who knew?

xxoo
waffles.

have you ever ate garlic right outa the skin. i did. 10 minutes ago.

2006-11-13T20:39:00.000-08:00

I know I know. Its been forever since I've been on here. But really. Thats a lie. Cause every day I come here hoping to write something or see a comment.. but then i get discouraged and don't write anything. Perhaps discouraged isn't the correct word. I think it might be a more of "where do i start" syndrome. Here gooooooesss.

Today. i went to work. not very exciting. AND THEN i saw melissa in the parking lot afterward. she was going to rhythmic gymnastics class! Fucking hilarious. The girl is 24.. bout my size and weight. So i went along. No participation but shit it was funny. They play with hoolahoops and make ruteins and stuff! It was like Hip Hop all over again! I want in.

So i have a new buddy. She's kinda like Heidi. Actually that is immediately who i thought of when she first talked to me. Her name is Tia. And she doesn't look like Heidi. But she sure does talk like her. And say funny things like her. And is uniquely willing to do things that make her happy no matter what other people think without actually saying or thinking outloud "I will do this because i want to and not because i want to buck the system." So yeah. Tia. We met at work. I brought a calander that had a picture of a cat biting a dogs nose with the title "Buddies" and i presented it to her and said "um, this may be awkward, but will you be my buddy." She said "Yes, as long as i don't have to bite your nose". I said that was fine, i would do all the biting. Yeah. So. we went out for drinks at a pretty restuarant down town on saturday and it was funny. I like her. We are going to see happy feet this weekend. you know. the one with the penguins and the dancing!

So yeah. That is the excite of my week. I have a friend that is like my friends and now things feel ok. Oh. and for christmas i want ikea gift certificates. I mean... if any of you get me anything. lol. Im so presumptuous. However. You three lovely ladies will be recieiving something. And bone and seans? if you want something I'm gonna need an address. at least. geeez.

xxoo.

jelly beans and bones. i hate cinnamon.

2006-11-08T21:05:00.000-08:00

Well there have been a lot of emotions the last few days. First of all.. yesterday was not a sunshiney day. Despite the sunshine that actually happened. Thats actually why I thought it was going to be a wonderful day to begin with. The sun hasn't shone here in almost a week. Turns out.. it wasn't such a sunshiney day. In fact, just when I thought It would get better, there was a hurricane that ripped through Sidney. No joke. I suppose I was just being silly. Letting everything annoy me. Thea being a know it all. Cher being a stupid whore munger (excuse my dirty dirty mouth). Mike being extremely creepy. It all just made me annoyed. And then I talked to Monica. The cosmetic manager. She made me feel better. I work to live not live to work. Tada. You would think it would be that easy. Until the moment I decided I had to go outside to the trailers.. it decided to hurricane on me. Gail force winds. I damn near started to cry from frustration. And then Monica walked in. And we had a laugh about how silly I was being. And THEN the day got better.

A few days ago I took Chers knives off her desk. I don't know why I did it. Maybe to inconvience her. Annoy her. I didn't need them. I have my own. But I did it. And then I came into work on Tuesday and it was like all hell had broken loose. There were notes on everything reading "To whom ever took my knives, I need them to do my job, please return them". I nearly pissed myself. THe girl asked everyone in the damn building if they had her knives, but not me. She dislikes me soo much, that she wouldn't even approach me about her missing knives. WHo knows, maybe I would have returned it. But geee wiz, after she has made the hugest stink about it.. i don't want to give it back. I want to laugh and laugh and laugh. Because Im the winner here. No matter how low, how juivinelle, how silly, I get the last laugh. Or what I thought was the last laugh.

I got an email from Jason this morning. He's doing well. He's moved to Modury and has a beautiful house with "our" friend Josh. He is still with his girlfriend. Almost two years he says. I shed a tear. And then refused to shower. Im not sure what I was protesting by not showering, but it sure did feel like the right thing to do. I went to work deciding that today would be a bad day until something good happened. I went to work to work. I did my job and I did it well. And then the day turned good. There I was, standing on my little ladder in the fem paper isle. Yes thats right, I had a handful of maxipads and my boss, Jackie, approaches me and says up to me "Holly Dolly, you are doing a great job. And don't let anyone tell you anything different. We are glad you are here, every one of us, except for one, but she is the only one, and I will always bat for you".

They always say you don't need someone to verify your importance. You don't need someone to acknowledge your worth, but you know what, I think that is bullshit. Im a generally emotional girl. I am just as well known for being ridiculously silly and happy as I am for being angry, upset, sad or enthusiastic, passionate woman. But the one thing I do need in life, is reassurance that I am good at something. That I wore my hair differently, that my step maybe isn't as bright as it normally would be, that I did what I was told or that I went that extra step further. I am happy that my boss will "always bat for me". I am glad to be awknowledged as a good worker and person.

Tonight, I ate jelly beans and watched bones and laughed. Today was a good day. And I still have Chers knives and Jackie will always bat for me.

xxoo
waffles.

Its a good day. i can feel it.

2006-11-07T09:51:00.000-08:00

Good morning one and all!

Today is Tuesday morning! The beginning on my work week. And ya know what? Since it's not monday morning, I can safely say today is going to be a good day.

The hints that today is a good day? a) nothing dramatic happened on the weekend so I won't have that to think about. b) I've finished my resume and am about to send it out. c) I got an email from jason today. d) I got an email from my mother today. e) and I feel good.

tada.
sorry there is nothing to report from the weekend. just work and sleep mostly. baught a new fancy printer too. spanky for sure!

gotta head to work now.. but sigh. oh well. gotta make the money some how. I did however just put in the call to Boulevard Magazine to talk to the Art Director. Apparently she screens her calls and won't directly talk to someone over the phone until she had time to think about it. Creepy.

best be off!
xxoo
holly

Buddies don't bite buddies noses.

2006-11-03T20:42:00.000-08:00

Well that drama is over. Thank god. I guess that's the beauty of being somewhere new, with new people who owe you nothing and you owe them nothing.

We had words and decided that neither of us need the other as a friend. Tada.

Onward and Upward!

Portfolio is damn near ready. Calling Boulevard Magazine on Monday to talk about Job opportunities!

Sigh. Ps. I'm watching High School Musical. I think I might be a geek.

And I damn near said hello to a boy at the gym today. THIIIIIIIIS close. Hello is the first step hey? And ya'll be glad to know that he is just my type. no more of these 6"2 blonde musclar beauties. Give me a chunky kid with a mop of brown curly hair any day.

Pss. Jason's birthday is monday. To call or not to call. That is the question. A silly one since I don't know if i have his number. Sigh. Email it is.

Going to a concert Saturday with a girl from work and the boys (chris also apparently...oh well) I think it'll be good. You wait.

xxoo
waffles.

She said they were all dirty.. i said it could be just the mud.

2006-11-02T19:18:00.000-08:00

Haha. So I call Karley today in hopes of arranging a greys/oc evening as apparently we both like both shows. Turns out (which i conveinently forgot) she was going to Chilliwak for the weekend to work the motocross games. lol. silly me. She says "Well come with me next weekend! I have to work but you might like it." And I say "I sure do like boys who ride motorbikes..." and she says "I don't, they are all dirty" and I say "Well it could just be the mud...." no. apparently they are all sluts. lol. Who knew?

Anyhoo. So plans are next weekend to go to chilliwak for motocross. lol. Im such a nerd its gross. But besides the "dirty" boys.. I have never been to chilliwak or to a motocross event! Ps. Who names the name of a town Chilliwak anyways. I bet it was the Indians. They have crazy names for everything. lol.

Adventures in cooking part two is underway. Im cooking pork chops on my fancy grill. But thats it. who needs vegetables anyways? Oh. And i was watching Miami Ink this afternoon and apparently Kat (the tattoooer) was getting homesick for LA and she was depressed and called her friend Rhiana and all of her friends surprised her in Miami cause she was homesick and then they convinced her to stay for another 6 months and giver' a go. THe moral of this story is... is thats kinda what happened cept nobody flew out to see me...

and to be honest i totally looked at buying airplane tickets for three lucky ladies for christmas today when i realized that no ones wants to be away from boyfriends/family on christmas including you guys.. so... plus they are uber expensive at christmas time. who knew?

im just full of new things today!! and you'll all be proud. accomplished one resume, one cover letter and matching portfolio nabby thing today. it was a rainy day in beautiful victoria but it just makes people crazier to stay dry !!

xxoo
waffles.

remember Thumb in Eye?

2006-11-01T08:38:00.000-08:00

I forgot to tell you about dinner with te crazies!

The entire reason I was even going for dinner was to make the point that I wanted to be treated more as a tenant then family.That didn't go so smooth to say the least. They didn't catch on when i said "I will pay the rent on the first of every month because I am reliable and don't think it is appropriate to skip on it, even if you are family. I see this as a tenant/landlord situation." Lots of humming and haaaaaing.

Then! Aunt Donna comes to the rescue! (The oldest sister in my mums family). She calls randomly monday night and they begin talking about me. I don't know what crazy says but donna starts in on her with the "holly doesn't need another mother and you don't need another child..." routine. She must've made a dent, but I don't know why she said that at all. I haven't said anything to Donna and my mom swears she didn't either... but then my mom called and crazy brought it up with her about how I don't spend any time with them and that they aren't getting to know me very well.. and my mother was like "thats not why shes out there." and gave her the speil again wanting my freedom and not more parents.

funny stuff. so they are leaving this morning to go up island for a week.. and im pumped. the house all to myself!!!

the end.

ps. work was good yesterday... promises to be the same today. sigh.

xxoo

I heart Leather Furniture and Greenpeace boys!

2006-10-30T16:01:00.000-08:00

Today was the most fabulous day to date (being in BC that is).

I got up early, packed the laptop and drove into the city in search of culture, pretty things and some me on me quiet time.

All things accomplished.

Victoria is such a beautfully cultured town that talking to 'houseless' people is actually an education instead of completely and utterly disgusting.

I walked around downtown all morning and part of the afternoon, by myself, wandering in and out of unique one of a kind shops where pretty fun people work and enjoy their jobs. No one seems stressed or angry or frustrated. No one is spewing vulgarities. No one wears clothing that is dirty or tattered. Everyone carries a pretty purse or satchel instead of breifcase. Everyone wears smiles instead of frowns. I was adventuring in allies and found the most beautiful, enchanting restuarant and another man who could have been in his 60's approached me and we talked about this marvalous building and it was peaceful and interesting. And then while strolling I was approached by a nice boy canvassing for Greenpeace. And because he smiled and asked how my morning has been I talked to him. For 30 minutes. About everything. It was pleasant and educating. I then walked into a gorgeous furniture and accessories store to strike up an hour long conversation with the owner about Victoria, Ontario, finding a loft, getting a job.. it was just amazing how open and friendly everyone is.

I then proceeded to Chapters and baught $100+ worth of books and a beautiful Matt&Nate Purse and wallet and my day is complete. I then went down town Sidney for a coffee and a stroll and discovered so many interesting, culture drivven places that I just wanted to buy the whole damn place up.

I've already baught birthday/christmas/easter gift for everyone seeing as i've missed halloween.

I wish everyone could experience a day like I had today. Im feeling so very creative. And happy. Im the luckiest girl in the world.

That and "talking" to meghan and heidi was so thrilling... brings an outstanding closure to the day!

xxoo
holly

So let me see if i got this straight...

2006-10-29T13:57:00.000-08:00

So last night, Karley convinces me to go over to the guys house by saying that it won't be awkward and he's clearly over it.

Wrong.

I get there. and Its completely and utterly awkward. Me, Sean and Karley go to the liqeur store and I get the banner news that not only did i sleep with chris.. i propositioned sean and chris to have a threesome. dear god. tequila is the devil.
We get back to the house where we decide to go to halloween party across town. Fair enough to me, it was fuckin awkward cause he wouldn't even awknowledge me room of four people.

While were waiting to meet rachel at the mall Karley and I start talking. Apparently he was mad at karley for giving me his email and he didn't want me to come over because it was going to be awkward. Well congrats he complishes that. Then she springs the bomb that she likes him AND his roommate likes him and thats why she would never get with him. She promised rachel. wft mate. wft. So we finally get to this party and I completely ditch Chris and Sean.. and Karley follows me around while i meet people. You know drunken me.. talkin to random people. Start to actually have fun when Chris comes over and drags Karley away.

Im like awesome. Not only is he going to act like a 6 year old.. hes going to make it worse by trying to get with Karley (which probably won't happen cause shes a virgin and has never had a random make out session). I find sean, crying, on the couch. Turns out Sean is completely and utterly in love with Karley as well and saw Chris take her away and has decided his life sucks and is crying. It doesn't help that hes drunk of course. A cheap drunk at that. All of a sudden we are out in the yard and the police are arresting people who are milling about on the street so we move to the back yard where seans crying is getting a little out of hand and I yell at him and say something to the effects "Grow some balls boy. Its not the end of the world if a girl doesn't like you back, at least you didn't fuck her." and I left it like that.

Karley and Chris reaapeared by this point claiming that Chris went to piss and then they couldn't find us and that nothing happened (whatev). So Chris continued drinking himself into an oblivian so i just had a seat on the curb to wait for the drama to end. Soonafter these three guys come over and sit with me.. and we chat and they are cute and the one tells me that if I spend one day with him he will show me things I've never seen. Well deal. So I gave him my number. No phone call yet tho. lol.

Karley and Sean finally finish talking.. Sean is still crying like a baby.. Rachel is trying to stop chris from passing out.. Im chatting with the cute guy.. and Karley is trying to round everyone up to go home. Im tired of the bullshit and the drama and so is karley so we start walking to her house instead of back to the boys where our cars are. We talked the whole way and laughed about it and so on and so forth. We finally went to the sleep around 4am and got up to take the bus to the boys house bout 10ish.

When we get there, neither of us want to go in. I have to go in to get my keys. So we go downstairs but Karley bails on talking to Sean and I have nothing to say to Chris so we go for lunch and she heads to work and I head home.

Im not going to lie here, I annoyed with the way things have been handled. I truely believe that I have done everything in my power to talk this out, to not make this awkward. I didn't become my usual emotional self, I didn't try and games I was honest and said "listen, I know its awkward but it doesn't have to be. im just saying we either see what happens or admit that it was a mistake and take it from there." But no. He chooses to act like a 12 year old. sigh.

Anyways. Yesterday Karley and I decide we're going downtown to do some dancing. Well I couldn't get into it. I had plenty of drinks but I just could fake having fun cause really im pissed about this whole situation. I just wanna take myself outa the situation and let them fight amongst themself. Fuck'em I'll find new friends.

We left at midnight and were asleep by 1. I think karley was annoyed but quite frankly.. i just couldn't handle all of the skanks making out with ever cock insight. Honest to god, halloween is just an excuse to dress like skanks and get slutty. Who knew?

So now im just hanging out on Sunday now.. feeling like ass (due to the amount of alcohol consumed in two days) and having to shower and have dinner with the crazies.

On a side note. Yesterday afternoon I went out to the store to buy some soup and tylenol cause I had a major headache and when I come back my aunt says "you don't look so well." i say "yeah, I have a headache." and she says "you must be getting your period.". wtf. i have no idea what goes through her head sometimes.

anyhoo.. let ya know how crazy dinner is tonight. at least its gonna be crab. sigh.

xxoo
waffles.

Can i call it the flu even though i secretly ate too much potato salad?

2006-10-27T19:06:00.000-07:00

So i went to work for the entirety of 2 hours today and then was told to go home cause i looked like i was gonna puke all over everyone. In truth I might've with all of those glaring florecant lights and cranky seniors who forgot to come get their discount yesterday breathing down my neck.

So i left.. and have spent the remainer of the evening on the couch. biting my fingers and trying not to throw up. Secretly I know its not the flu.. i think its cause I've eaten potato salad for every meal in the last two days and its catching up to me. only I do that.. only I.

AND apparently my mcsweeny quarterly's finally came in the mail.. for free.. in bracebridge so Im excited to get them. But that is all my good news. Now i must leave my cozy jammies and go in search of the grocery store for something scrumcious to put in my belly.

Im thinking precooked chicken... like the ones that they do at the grocery store? damn sidney and there no fast food joints but choke and puke (kentucky friend chicken).

ohhh and then Lindsay Melnyk messeges me (the girl i was supposed to drive to bc with at the end of first year?) and now were going adventuring to California in November!! friggin crazy.

and it looks like im going out with karley tomorra night dancing. do not fret amy.. nothing can compare to dance offs.

xxoo
waffles.

Oh... i let the crazy slip out last night..

2006-10-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

So after I wrote my blog... I got a messege from Jarrett. Nothing special... i random asked if Chris and him were over their little tiff on saturday night. I didn't really care.. i was just making conversation.. when he got all weird about it and started going on about how I dont really know them so I wouldn't know if they were just drunken yelling or actually fighting. i was like "oh.. ok.. i guess not?" and then he got defensive again about the supplements he takes and all I said was "I don't really want to talk about it, I don't agree with them and no matter what they say I still won't." He was like "thats fine. I wouldn't want to waste my breath on some one not open to it anyways" and then said he'd be brb. I didn't think anything of until like 3 hours later when he didn't come back so i just left him a messege "hmm?". and he was like "oh.. sorry forgot about you, got distracted. going to bed". I was like "is something wrong?" and he said "no. night" and logged off.

Well then starts my paranoia.

a) what the fuck was that all about?

b) is he mad that I don't agree with vitamin abuse?

c) did he talk to chris that 3 hours away?

d) did chris tell him what happened?

e) are they both not talking to me?

so i left a messege on chris's msn that just said "u there?" but never got a response. So then Sean, their other roommate messeges me and I ask if Chris and Jarrett are still up. He said yeah they are in the living room. Now im even more pissed. I asked if they said anything about me.. he said no.. but if I wanted to talk to them I could call. and gave me their phone number. I told him that I didn't know what was going on enough to call. No one will say anything to me. He agreed but didn't know what happened.. or at least didn't let on that he knew.

im totally being paranoid.

then last night I had the strangest dream ever. that i was at a cottage somewhere with a bunch of people from high school and all of our parents and my parents were trying lecture me on being a slut. and i got really really upset with them and told them that I wasn't at the cottage to pick up some random boy and shag him, that i was there with them and why were they doing this. There was lots of screaming and stomping away and once again I woke up crying.

what the fuck is going on?

waffles.

I really really like chicken pot pie.

2006-10-26T18:59:00.000-07:00

Today I didn't sweat the small stuff.

I didn't tell that witch at work to go fuck her self.

I didn't tell my aunt that I hate that she assumed I wanted her to make me dinner.

I didn't get myself into a panic about Chris.

And I had a good laugh with Melissa about everything.

So I worked from 9am to 5:30pm... and today was Seniors Day. Im sure you've all encountered seniors at one point or another during your life span.. whether it be grandparents, neighbours, crazy strays, nursing homes, work places, etc.. well today was like living in the world of Old People. Not the nice kind, or the kind that are cute and you feel sorry that they are old; the type that would bowl you over with their motorized scouter to get the last of the double roll 2 ply 12's of life brand toliet paper.
Funny story.. that happened... except it didn't really happen like that.

So Thea and I are standing in an isle chatting away when an old couple, roughly in their ninety's roll around the corner at light speed in their motorized scouters. That in itself was hilarious.. until I notice their canes dragging behind them knocking things off the shelves. Thea and I dash out of the way (like in those movies when a speeding out of control truck is coming at the main character and they dive to safety) so that we aren't killed in the Halloween Isle. They barrel down the isle barely seeing over their handle bars and the first one SMOKES into the basket at the end of the isle. Like.. not just hits it.. the woman knocks the whole thing over and mangles it! As she's recovering from the whipflash she just gave herself.. her 100 year old husband smokes into her, hitting the backside of her scouter giving them both a case of whipflash. You know what happened next (after i finished pissing myself. literally) they drove away. Pretended like it didn't happen. I know. I wish I had taken pictures. It was god damn ridiculous. Apparently that happens all the time. WTF mate.

So a while later Im in an isle stocking a shelf when I over hear three seniors talking in the next isle. This man is complaining about not getting to see his doctor immediately when he wants to see him and his wife is angry that the hospital has such a wait time when this other woman pipes up and says "Well I no longer go to my doctor. One time I went to the hospital with my husband and we were there for almost and hour when a girl came in in an ambulance and got first priority over us. So now.. instead of driving to the hospital we just call the ambulance so that we don't have to wait". I nearly died of shock. Who the funk does that? Abusing an emergency system like that! Its funkin people like that that make health care so hard to come by.

And those are my immediate old foggies tales. Can't wait til we get old hey? I hope I get to get away with being as obnoxious and as self centred as they do.. although I hope I don't smell as bad and that I still have nice teeth (even if they are fake). And i hope don't have a front butt, cause they are soo gross. And I hope I never have to ask the clerk to tell me where the extra large maximum absorbancy undergarmets are. Awwwwkward!

So now.. im cleaning and doing laundry and listening to Melanie Durrant ( and other music that I can sing along too and dance a little.. ok a lot.) Happy. :)

Ps. It was a terribly blustery day, the kinda of blustery that Winnie the Poo talks about.. but hot damn did the ocean look ultra sexy with the waves and the sunset. I love my drive home.

xxoo
waffles.

Pss. I know the Ps. is supposed to come after you sign off... but i just don't do things the way their sposta k?

I.O.U 1 beer... but I needed it.

2006-10-24T20:04:00.000-07:00

Well.. i haven't written since Sunday morning.. but only cause Sunday I spent the day wondering if I really am as daft as I acted on Saturday and debating whether to go to dinner at Jarrett and Chris's place as I was invited.

Needless to say.. I didn't go to dinner. can we say awkward? As much as I like Jarrett as a friend.. after Chris.. everything seems awkward. I was talking to Karley about it.. but since she is not like me (promiscuous? is that right word? with a dash of some sort of class? lol) she was just like... well obviously he must like you or else he wouldn't have slept with you.. so just talk to him. Obviously she's never been in the situation. Who wants to be the one that says "Hey.. babe.. your cute and all and super hot in bed.. wanna get to know me better?" not me mate.. not me. karley says i have to talk to him tho. so I don't know what to say. I added him to my msn.. but as Amy says.. EVERYTHING gets misconstrewed on msn.. so im debating what to do. I don't have their phone number and I don't want to just show up.. besides.. jarrett doesn't know... at least i don't think so. don't want to make it any worse than it is. and definately don't want to get into a steveo groove with him. its all or nothing. but by the silence of the last two days im startin to think its more of the nothing end...

ps. kyle is the love of my life.. and none of you know him.. but it doesn't matter.

so anyhoo.. the last few days at work have been so stressful "playing the game". im trying my damndest to not piss anyone off.. but sheexz... its just easier to do it then apologize afterwards. funkin batty bitches. all that gets me through the day is that my boss calls me Holly Dolly and loves me.. and that i need money. sigh.

and that has been the last few days. going to get my car fixed tomorra in victoria.. thinkin about finding out if chris is around home and i'll drop by and talk to him. What aboiut im not sure.. but whatever.

workin tomorra afternoon anyhoo... escaped dinner with the crazies.. however managed to rope myself into crab family dinner sunday afternoon. sob. lol.

over and out.
waffles.

How to make and loose friends in one night....

2006-10-22T10:18:00.000-07:00

Here I am.. in my jammies.. 10:03 sunday morning.. curled around my tub-o-apple juice (thats a huge bottle of apple juice if your wondering) and writing the events of yesterday.

So i go to pick up jarrett to go into town to get my oil changed when he asks if his roommate chris can come along. I say sure if he wants to brave the maz. for christs sake he's 6"2 and 250 lbs. Not fat.. but musclar big. Im in love at first sight. But he's quiet and reserved so whatev. we tootle around town a bit while my cars getting its oil changed and we'ree having a good time.. until i find out my transmission fluid is black. APPARENTLY.. your transmission fluid should be red. opps. even the lube guy was "team.. you got issues". so great. another couple hundred to get that done for this god damn car.

so we head to this bar where we are meeting luke again to watch the hockey game. Driving in Victoria SHOULD be the easiest thing in the world.. but as it turns out EVERYONE DRIVES LIKE FUNKING IDIOTS! We finally get there and Im so stressed out so I have a drink... and the other three have 12. no joke. All of a sudden Chris has a personality, Luke is extremely funny and Jarrett just gets loud and obnoxious. lol. Im sober but having a good time when we notice the elderly woman next to us is slumped over in her chair and is not moving. Her friends or people she was with are trying to help her but don't know whats wrong.. at this point its 7pm, the place is packed with hockey fans and beer and this woman is slipping into a diabetic coma. The ambulance(s), fire truck AND police show up.. and what do you know.. they are all young and HOT! Its a god damn shame that woman had to get sick for them to show up.. but cheese was i ever glad they did. It didn't rightly help that i was sitting with 3 drunks. i had eye sex with the one... but thats all the paramedic action i got. *note to self.. find a way to get the paramedics to my house.

we finally finish up at the bar around 8.. and the three of them are sloshed. Luke walks home so me, chris and jarrett are off to find a liquer store. Now.. a feet like this is super easy in BC as everyone and their brother sells liquer. There are no government bodies that control. its regoddamndiculous. But do you think the two drunks could direct me to one? Hilarious. We finally get to one and me and jarrett split on a 26er of Wiser and a bottle of Tequila. Wew. We leave Chris in the car with the liquer and we go to the grocery store to get mix and lemons. yes thats right. we got lemons. jarrett thought they would be better than limes. funking idiot.

we walk out of the grocery store and all you can hear is Riahanna blarring from my car. We were at least 50 feet from the car and all of the doors were shut. I open the door and theres chris singing along. I've never laughed so hard. lol. We end up listening to friggin Justin Timberlake the whole way back to their place and not the new stuff. Stuff like "Girlfriend" and "cry me a river". Apparently they love him. Who knew?

We start getting our drink on at there house roughly 9pm? Its me, Chris, Jarrett, Karley and Sean and we're playing high or low with the tequila if you get card lower the 10. The tequila was gone by.. 10? and the wisers was gone by 11? All of a sudden Chris and Jarrett are fighting about something and they are screaming at each other and Jarrett ends up puking all over the downstairs bathroom and going to bed. So we stayed up out on the porch just laughing and talking about the industry cause chris is a graphic designer by trade too. creepy. We finally decide its time to go to bed but jarrett neglects to tell me before he passes out where Im sleeping. So Chris sets up a bed on the floor in his room with his second mattress so i get his bed. That lasted the entirety of 10 minutes. He came up and climbed into bed with me.

Imagine me.. little 5"5 me and him.. large 6"2 him in a single bed together. lol. He was wrapped around me. I loved it. I was warm. I tell him im going to be a prud and not sleep with him and he's like thats fine.. we can pretend we're in middle school again and we fooled around a little. well push comes to shove and all of a sudden we're not in middle school anymore.. in the loudest sense of the word. hairing pulling, biting, nails, screaming... all of the above plus some very kinky things that I have never seen before.. and thats sayin somethin. lol.

finally fall asleep til about 8:30.. when i all of sudden sit upright in bed and realise what just happened. I fumbled around with my clothes until i notice a huge smear of blood on the back of my undershirt. I check myself out and im not bleeding.. he says he's not so not i have misterious blood on the back of my shirt. i hot tailed it outa there in hurray so i didn't have to face jarrett and here I am.

all i gots to say is.. Karley and Sean were nice.. im just not sure if Jarrett or Chris are gonna talk to me again. sigh. damnn tequila. The good news is Im not hungover.. bad news is I don't reckon I remember most of what I said last night. Something tells me I might've stepped in it.

sigh. thats all for the moment. my weary legs need some sleep. and my head for that matter. whew.

Geez.. I'll get a job... another one.

2006-10-20T22:15:00.000-07:00

Well... the past two days have been so stressfull.

Shoppers has turned out to be a mind trap. One wants to please their boss, their coworkers, their customers, but one doesn't want to be seen as a brown noser, a geek, a suck up.

I however, have no problem sucking up to my boss if it gets me hours and money. I do however have a problem with coworkers treating me like shit and customers acting like i don't speak english.

I will play the game tho. I will pretend to like everyone. And I will agree with everything everyone says. And I will not beat any seniors over the head with their own canes.

Do you know why?

Because I will not be the girl who takes their mindless work to the next level; a stressful job. Tada. See how easy that was? It was like therapy. lol. I feel much better.

Onto bigger and crazier things like the crazies i live with. I am now their new show pet. They have friends over and I've done my damnest to not be involved. They invited me for dinner.. I politely said no.. and yet still brought down leftovers. They call down and invite me for dessert.. I politely say no.. and then she says "well we'd like you to meet our guests". You can't say no to that.

I then spend the next hour bullshitting my aunt and uncle crazies into thinking I hadn't already heard everything they are trying to tell me before, laughing at terrible jokes, declining cake three times, and trying to not get toughed leaned against or stood to close to.

Who knew I had a personal space problem. I do now.

I then spent the next 20 minutes defending how Im not seriously looking for a graphics design job here. I made all sorts of lies until i couldn't take it anymore and said "I don't know how long I will be here and where I'd like to work". Im not sure if I upset anyone but christ, Im paying for my damn freedom and your getting your damn rent money so get off my damn case.

the end. of this rant about the crazies. steps to rid myself of the crazies that need to be taken.

1. Work for at least three months and save.
2. Pay off Visa Bill (the entirety of $177.36) and get limit made larger.
3. Look for places in Victoria/Vancouver
4. Find job after scouting cost of living in such places.

There. They always say the first step to getting out a problem is to map what you have to do. I think that qualifies. Look at us.. i should be paying you for the therapy im getting here. You of course have probably heard all of these things before. lol. but shit, it makes me feel better. lol

Seeing Jarrett tomorra, we're going to get my oil changed. lol and thats no joke. lol. Really, i need to get my cars oil changed. lol. And im buying rollerblades so i don't have to pay for uber expensive gas out here. lol.

Perhaps tomorra I'll have more to report. I, however, am feeling very positive and not stressed out. Starting the portfolio tomorra. I've decided it.

tada! love you all.
amy, let me know about australia?
xxoo
meghan.. i just wanted to know if she got accepted?
xxoo
bones... find a new job before i find one for you.

All i gots to say...

2006-10-19T21:46:00.000-07:00

a) you are right. and love you for your stong rightness and conviction.

b) i hate shoppers drug mart and all of the nazi bitches that work there.

c) i will find a job that makes me happy. started the search today.

d) everything seems so right just all of a sudden.

thank you bones. thank you meghan.

My Public Announcement

2006-10-19T13:08:00.000-07:00

The following is a post by thegirlwholovestoknit.

Ladies and Gentlemen and to those who don’t "behave" like ladies or gentleman (my attempt at being PC)

I would like to make a formal public announcement, but seeing as I’m not allowed to stand on my desk and shout, and if I did shout it would only reach inappropriate ears (some hairy, some not) – I’ve decided to yell right here.

So pay attention. (I’m not yelling by the way…. Meaning gets lost in volume and I have no intention of invoking fear.)

Holly Fay will NOT be going to Australia. Holly Fay shall NOT be going anywhere to seek out people. Holly Fay shall ONLY be going to a place that interests her, and she will focus only on herself and her personal goals that involve her head and her heart and her ability to be alive and wondrous in this world.

If Holly Fay chooses to seek out people based on their peoplyness, then all she will find is people who only know things about people NOT about anything else and people like that are boring. Why? Because it’s always present people and their present state of being which says nothing about anyone or anywhere or anytime. And that’s ri-god-damn-diculous.

THEREFORE I say to Holly Fay make your portfolio, love your art, love your hands, love your vision(and find your vision) and use this world to make you feel like the best person you can be to yourself. You are the only person who should matter to you. Then the peoply-people shan’t bother you or waste your time. Why? Because you are too busy negotiating your visions with someone who cares about what you do, and how you got there, and why your mind works the way it does. And that, my lovely, is what we are all looking for. Any shmoe can love your boobs, it takes a great human to love your heart.

And with that, I conclude this public announcement and I wish all seekers of life (myself included) the greatest of adventures and the best of minds.

Most Sincerely,
Elizabeth Hurlburt

I will not be that cat lady if i have the choice.

2006-10-18T21:07:00.000-07:00

After our little chat this morning I was left feeling really.. alone.

The other night.. a few nights ago really... i had this dream. where we were in the loyalist cafe and all of the kids i went to high school with were there and jason was there and stace was there but amy wasn't. i walked outa the cafe and all of my friends got up from our table and said "holly just stay there for a sec".. so i stayed at our table when this kid that i used to date chris came over and asked me to put this bathing suite on in the middle of the cafe. i looked around and saw that everyone was looking at me and realised something bad was happening so i said no and got up.. all of sudden everyone in the cafe got up.. and started towards me. I screamed and screamed for jason to come and for stace to help but no one did. i was running out the school and there were people trying to get at me. i finally made it home and was balling in my room on turnbull when this other girl from highschool who i hated came and tried to calm me down.. and all i could do was scream why didn't jason help me.

i woke up sobbing. all i could think of was .. omg.. im alone.

then when amy and i talked this morning.. i felt it all over again. all day. i thought about jason. and steveo. and that random from london. and i thought about stacey and my sister and her boyfriend. and i thought about amy and wes. and my mum and dad.

if i was wes (or amy for that matter) i would be straightening my shit up. there is nothing worse in this whole world then being afraid of being alone or not being good enough and he is just putting it all on himself for no reason. i don't know if he understands the pressures and the sacrifices he puts on amy.. if he knew how terrible it was on the other side maybe he wouldn't bring the guilt trips to these bitter ends? i just want to slap him and tell him to not lose the only the girl or object that will ever really love him.

i shed a tear over jason today too. its his birthday in a few weeks.. and we haven't talked since last year this time.. even on my birthday i only got an email. so. i guess thats over. and i don't know why. is there anything after that?

i dunno.. i just don't know how to get outa this rut and meet more meaningful people like amy and heidi and meghan into my life. i don't know how to meet men like jason with balls. i don't know how to do anything i want to do. i even devised a plan to move to australia today cause i thought that would solve all my problems.

no. moving will not help me meet a man who deserves me. moving will not allow me to be closer to friends who mean so much to me (unless its to australia with amy and then im in). i gotta stick this out i guess. i gotta get my shit together.

so there. i've said it. im going real job hunting tomorra morning. im finishing my portfolio this weekend and i will get a real job. until next september to when i will decide whether to move to australia with amy.

tada.

ps. i've lost weight this week!!! my work pants fit again!!!!

i miss everyone so much. of course some more than others. xxoo
waffles.

im a useless tit. no doubt about it.

2006-10-17T18:53:00.000-07:00

ahhh. so today is tuesday. and i thought, from what the schedule at work said, that i had all week off. so i could go to get my license, car insurance, postcards printed, medical insurance etc done this week. apparently not. i work all day. every day. until sunday. and as we found out this past sunday.. no one leaves their homes to go to work on sundays. so. looks like im taken the half assed route when it comes to the post cards.. and it also looks like im not going to be a full bc resident for another week or two.

hope no one cares about that.

anyhoo.. progress with jarrett? not much. every time he's messeged me in the last two days i've been out at the gym or at work. and to tell you the truth (just to prove how desperate i am) im not sure i have much interest in him if he's so in love with kate. i know i know... i should just use him to meet some more available men. deal. he did say he had a hot roommate. all tho he sets up tents as a living.. lol. we'll see.. i do need to get out tho. so..... the saga continues. but i tell ya.. im not a triangle kinda girl. i know this will suprise all of you.. but i find them annoying and boring. and its even worse if i don't like one of the people in the triangle.

anyhoo.. i must go to the gym. OHHH and i know how proud ya'll will be when you read this next bit.

I can make an omellette. I know. Im throwing a party this weekend to celebrate. Ya'll are invited.
(im trying to make it a habit to use the word "ya'll" as much as possible cause i think its funny.

ok. so to the gym i go. then post card writing. then arm hair bleaching. sooo over due.

catchya'll on the flipside dudemeithers.
waffles.

Good ol' Snaggle Tooth.. who knew she was a beauty?

2006-10-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

Well... im a big bailer. We decided against leaving the house yesterday to go for my tour of Victoria.. it was raining and neither of us were in the mood. So instead.. i went into town in search of roller blades. with auntie crazy. to no avail she manage to offend everything i believe in. subjects included,

*homeless people
*job opportunities
*drunk driving
*buying roller blades
*what to eat for supper
*some random diet that is stupid
*drunk driving
*the hazards of living in the city

and so on and so forth. but being the good house guest i am, did not say anything to contradict her.. and jesus crhist did i want to. then she invited me for dinner with uncle crazy and his mum. i couldn't say no. apparently.. uncle crazy gets his crazy from his mother. imagine me.. sitting a dinner table.. with the crazies! ya can't get a word in edge wise cause they are either rambling on about something they told you earlier that day.. or playing show n'tell with the ingrediates they used to cook the chicken in cause i made the mistake of commenting on it.. or they simply just chewing like cows. i tell ya.. its hard work.

anyhoo.. tried to get my post cards printed yesterday.. turns out the island of Vancouver sleeps all day and no one works.. so it'll have to wait until tuesday. gotta work all day today than the gym. so i'll be off.. to deal with the crazy german woman i work with at shoppers. my favourite line of all time:

will i don't ave any erms you know! "WELL I DON'T HAVE ANY GERMS YOU KNOW".

HILARIOUS.

ciao babas until this evening.
waffles.

Lucky Number Slevin.

2006-10-14T20:55:00.000-07:00

Well.. first off i'll tell ya how the "date" went. And then I'll tell ya what was really going on.

Jarrett picked me up.. looking all dapper in his striped shirt and dark jeans... and there i was in dark jeans and white long sleeve shirt. started the evening underdressed *high five*. we chat the whole way into town and he says we're gonna slide around and pick up his other friend that we're going out with. ok fine. SHES gorgeous. dressed to the nines. in a casual pretty way. *high five to the girl who barely managed to find a clean shirt*.

So we go to dinner at this Jamacan Jerk Restaurant. Yeah. I myself have never been to jamacian jerk restaurant... but one would suspect there would be jamacan food and jamacan people and maybe some tunes and pretty stuff. no. none of the above. except for the tunes.. that we're being mixed by this white kid who looked like he took the gig so he could eat that night. me and sarah got adventurous and got rum punch to drink and me and jarrett headed for the buffet. i guess the definition of 'buffet' is a table with food that you help yourself to, cause thats all it was. there were three kinds of chicken, a bowl of curry sauce and a bowl of salad that might had been prepared 4 days ago. the rum punch as it turns out.. is just rum.. that has a punch to it. i was drunk off one drink *high five to the drunk new kid*.

all of sudden, the geek parade walks in. and sits at our table. 5 guys walk in. each with a bicycle helmet in hand, one pant leg tucked in their sock and wearing sandals. i think the majority were wearing glasses too. we were introduced and it was awkward so we left. but i tell ya.. that jamacian jerk has been following me ever since. *applause to the drunk new girl with gas*.

we finally make our way to the bar were we meet jarretts other friend luke. we had a decent time.. and me being me couldn't keep my eyes from roaming the room til i spotted something that got my attention. last night it turned out to the bartender in a supremely hot plaid sweater vest.. i didn't mean to be obvious but sarah saw me checking him out and was "hey.. just walk by and brush into him" and me, being the drunk that i am after a "rum punch" and three malibu, blurt out "and then what flash him my tits?". i apparently said it a little loud and jarrett and luke both looked at me like i was talkin to them and was going to flash them. *high five to drunk again*. we finally get out of there and start the drive home.

we went on a tour of the city and dropped sarah off. we talked all night.. like it was casual with no pressure.. it was just nice and fun and comfortable. we were gonna go out tonight.. but i bailed cause im exhausted.. but we have plans for tomorra.. so i felt ok with it. we talked for two hours this afternoon. i felt pretty good about the situation.

i'd only picked out 3 qualities that bugged me about him and its been full 24 hours~

a) he eats like a barbarian. you know, with your head at plate level, a fork in one hand the knife in the other, holding them like weapons, stabing at food on the plate like its trying to run away... huge turn off.

b) his friends are geeks. not just smart.. but weird too.

c) hes short. and muscular. not an inch of fat on him (totally not my type eh? lol)

and then tonight happened.

slater, my friend from high school, messeges me. asks how the night was. i said good it was fun.. etc. then she starts in about how jarretts mad at her cause she won't come out here. im a little confused until she tells me this little tune.

they went to humber together. they liked each other all through school except they were both previously attached. she comes out here this summer and ends up hooking up with him. he breaks up with his girlfriend for her. she goes back to ontario. he is now pressuring her into coming out and being with him. sigh. yeah.

so. no date. just a pity night out with strangers. everyone was super nice and friendly and thats what it was for.. to get to know people right.. a little disappointing tho. now i feel evenmore like the bumkin that moved to the city and doesn't know enough to wear fancy clothes all the time and gets drunk and gasy and says comments that only me and amy would find funny. sigh.

feeling more and more wanting to not go adventuring tomorra with him. specially if its just a favour to kate.. whom secretly i don't think i like anyways.

and the adventure continues... thinking i might just join you in austalia amy. i'll start saving now. at least there its sunny all the time and i know people.

miss you (even if your three hours away) more than ever.
waffles.

ps i watched lucky number slevin tonight and it made me happy that people who are quirky can fall in love too.